By Rosanne Rosannadanna CABLE SUCKS! TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | OCT 2016 33 Tybee Insurance Agency Inc. Serving Tybee Island since 1987 • Homeowner’s Insurance • Flood Insurance • Renter’s Insurance • Condo Owner’s Insurance • All Commercial Insurance Call Carrie Traeger 204 First Street “Mrs. Jiggs” 912-786-5541 I know that cable has been ranted about before (and more than likely on a daily basis), but I have just had it. HAD IT!! I pay $90 a month for ... let’s call it “Dick” Cable. $90 per month! That is many meals for many villagers in a faraway small country or many meals for someone next door. It is outrageous what I am willing to put up with for HBO and all of my must have movie channels. So here is what I get to look at (and I counted): I have the option to have 9,646 channels. Holy Shit! That is just stupid. I do have a job, you know. So, out of those channels, I am paying for 150 of them with my $90 per month. Here are some of my options that I am paying for: I have four ... FOUR channels on “Got Turkey Wattle Neck.” I also have three ... THREE channels on “Puppy Pooping on the Floor.” I have two channels on “Sex and Menopause,” two channels on “Why Use a Pressure Cooker,” two channels on “Suffering from Lower Back Pain,” and the list goes: BBQ Madness, Mattresses, Weird Trick to Improve Your Memory, and oh, don’t forget, How to Tighten Crepey Skin. Ugh. Why can’t I just order the exact channels I want and pay for them individually??? I want the basic networks (which are FREE), HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, TMC, and SBYND and all of their East, West and whatever counterparts. I am thinking $40 sounds pretty fair. Oh, and I want Flix and Encore. Dammit! Let’s add $10. Oh, and I want Starz. Even if I add an additional $10, I am still at $60. So, in my mathematically addled brain, I am paying $30 for Turkey Wattle and Puppy Poop. I do not have Turkey Wattle (yet) and I do not have a puppy. Why am I being tortured with this stupidity? Better yet, why am I paying for it? I feel much better now. I know that my opinion means nothing to Dick Cable, but I feel better having vented my spleen. It all boils down to this: Whatever happens I absolutely refuse to live without Game of Thrones on HBO. Damn you Jon Snow!! Behind the Tape… Tybee Island Upcoming Events
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