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1. A wife needs someone who understands her. “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding” (1 Peter 3:7). This scripture warns against the tendency of a husband to be preoccupied with interests outside his home and marriage and to ignore things which are important to his wife. Every woman has habits, tendencies, fears, likes, and dislikes. In marriage, she feels the need to be understood, and the husband demonstrates his understanding of her by living with consideration toward her. Notice that the Scripture does not say simply that a husband should know his wife, but that he should live with her according to his knowledge of her. 2. A wife needs someone who accepts her as she is. This is an extension of the need to be understood. The Scriptures speak of the intimacy of marriage as “knowing” one another. Marriage is disclosure, letting each other know your heart and mind—“the real you.” Such disclosure can be either painful or wonderful. When a husband compares his wife negatively with other women, ridicules her personality, or overloads her with responsibility and criticizes her failure, he sends her a clear message of rejection. On the other hand, an accepting husband, while he may not approve of everything about his wife, recognizes her unique personhood and gives her his support to become all that God intends her to be. 3. A wife needs someone who cherishes her. Cherishing is another step beyond accepting. Like acceptance, cherishing his wife requires the husband to seek to understand her. Cherishing is really another word for the love a wife needs to feel from her husband. Love is probably the most basic need of a wife in marriage. It is no God made humans male and female, and they are not the same. However, their differences are not differences of value. Loaves & Fishes • Issue 32 | 35


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