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TIPD evacuate. Woof... Okay, this was for real. We spent the afternoon watching the waves crash onto the pier’s roof, and started to second guess ourselves. When the Mayor started making calls we almost cracked. There was definitely some wavering. So, we broke into our gallon of Jameson. Oddly enough, our resiliency came flooding back. Hurricane’s coming? Awesome! Let’s do a shot and break out the camera!!! As the conditions deteriorated our bottle got lighter. We discovered Facebook Live and did what The Weather Channel was too afraid to do: Reports from Tybee! All we needed was a cell phone and a wooden spoon and soon we were on CNN! Hundreds of people sent us FB messages. My sister still won’t talk to me! The storm raged on, and we got drunker. Brilliant!!! By midnight the worst of the storm was here. And it stayed, and it stayed… Damned thing just wouldn’t quit. It was really impressive. Just raw power. We finally lost power at about 3am, right about the time the massive pool tent from Hotel Tybee blasted thru our fence and sounded like a bomb exploding. You couldn’t see anything, and all you could hear was wind. The house was shaking. That’s really the only time I was scared. It just sat on us for so long. That’s also when I euthanized myself for the evening. I took a big drink and hoped I didn’t wake up wet. The next thing I remember is the two neighbors that did stay waking us up the next morning, informing us that we had, in fact, survived. The next day is kind of a blur. Mayor Jason scolded us, which we deserved. Then he thanked us for our super responsible drunken reports. That guy really did a great job. Mean it. Thanks so much Mr. Mayor! This place got nailed. When we were told it may be two weeks before we got power back, I believed it. Every power line was down or damaged it seemed. Transformers were still blowing up that morning. The power companies really worked their butts off to get it back on so quickly and I thank them. Thanks to Calvin at Nickie’s and Eric at Hucapoos too. You guys were lifesavers, whether you were clearing Tybee Road or just feeding us, you guys rocked! Thanks to all the idiots that stayed with us. The next few days were actually really fun, electricity or not. That was Breezy’s Matthew experience. It was wild and I’ll never forget it. I hope never to do it again. So long hurricane season, Happy Holidays! By Ron and Joey Goralczyk It seems like things are finally getting back to normal around here, a month after the storm. I know it’s not exactly a “Taxi Tale,” but I really can’t imagine writing about anything else this month. I mean, how often does a CAT 2 storm roll thru Tybee? Hopefully like once a century! We stayed on the island for it, and I don’t care to have that experience again. It’s something that I wanted to check off a bucket list, but once was MORE than enough for me. The Wednesday before the storm hit, sticking around didn’t seem like a completely bad idea. Sure, I was a bit nervous, as the doomsday scenario, The Weather Channel, was predicting would have wiped the Island from the map. What the hell do the forecasters know though, right? It’s not like they’re experts in their field or anything. I felt confident about surviving, and I wasn’t alone. Most of my neighbors and friends planned to ride it out with us, and we had prepared pretty well it seemed. We had coolers filled with ice, food, booze, and even water! I went to bed that night expecting a group of about 30 people in this with us. That, however, was not meant to be... Thursday got here, and the track shifted a little bit. Not a lot, but enough that it was looking a little bit worse for Tybee. Then our families started calling, and calling, and yelling at us. As if we were not watching coverage on a 24 hour loop as it was, they seemed to think we must be completely out of touch with reality. My sister called me stupid and said we deserved to die if we stayed. One of my uncles called my dad and told him he couldn’t believe that he would put my grandmother thru identifying our waterlogged bodies. Another uncle called my mom to ask if he could take over Breezy after we drowned in the 40 foot storm surge. Needless to say, they were not confident in our survival! At this point, though, WE remained resolute, but my group of friends riding it out started to dwindle. So many, who just the night before were laughing it off as nothing, started to bail. It was a funny thing to see attitudes change completely in a 20 minute span. Guys who had been staying until their girlfriends freaked out on them saw a completely different scenario after they decided to leave. Suddenly the storm went from a joke to a massive killer. Not that it mattered. The more people left, the more we wanted to stick it out. Spite will be the death of me. Friday morning: I would be lying if I said I was thrilled to be here that morning. It was depressing. It was gloomy, windy and an impending sense of doom prevailed. We had lost several more neighbors in the overnight hours. The view from our porch made it seem like we might be the last ones here. That’s not the world’s greatest feeling. We went out for a drive-about to make sure we were not alone. We got out there just in time to see that all the Chu’s were closed and we were gonna have to survive with the smokes we had. Then we saw the 16 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | DEC 2016


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