• Possessing their partners • Demanding intimacy • Physical aggression is the “masculine” thing to do Teenage female beliefs include: • There’s no resource for help • Abuse is normal because their peers are abused • J ealousy, possessiveness and even abuse are “romantic” Historically other studies and surveys support these findings. This serves as pretty solid evidence that teenagers grow up in a society that frowns on adult domestic violence, yet it appears they serve their apprenticeships in high school learning the nuances of how to abuse. Do they learn on their own or do they learn from their abusive parents? It is a very difficult question to answer nevertheless the cycle must be broken. Today’s youth represent the best chance to make a change. Here’s how to start. Educate and Prevent. Know some warning signs. Is there a history of violence with previous partners? Are there threats of violence, use of force? Is there cruelty to animals? Are traits of sudden anger, jealousy, verbal abuse, controlling behavior, unpredictable mood swings present? All or any of these can be predictors of future behavior and definite warning signs. Set Standards. Only allow double dates for the first few dates. Know exactly what the plans are-who, where, what, when-be very specific. Remember: trust but verify. You love your children. It is your responsibility to set the standards for their actions. Develop a Safety Plan. In an emergency know who to call: police, relative, parents, friend, neighbor, pastor-have a calling card handy. Know who you can trust to talk to. Develop a buddy system at school so you are never alone. Change your route to school if necessary. Carry some nonlethal self-defense items-pepper spray, personal defense alarms, etc. Trust your instincts. Above all be prepared. Knowing what to look for and keeping an open mind may end up saving you a lot of pain. Article by: Sven Hyltén-Cavallius WomanToWomanMagazine.com 25
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