HUAMR OT R Galleria What Sex Is Your Computer? By Aaron R. Fodiman Unlike many other languages, English nouns are neither masculine nor feminine. However, we tend to think of many nouns as belonging to one gender or the other. Most people think of a doll as being feminine and a gun as being masculine. Yet no particular gender is generally associated with a computer. Therefore, I decided to consider a variety of factors that I relate to computers and then apply that knowledge to determine which sex it most resembles. I used eight things I know about computers. It seemed to me that four on my list were male traits and four were female traits. 1. If you want a computer to do anything, you have to turn it on first. This sounds like a male user to me. 2. A computer has an internal logic that only its creator understands. This is feminine from my viewpoint. 3. A computer uses a native language to communicate with others that can be difficult to understand. This also reminds me of a woman. 4. Despite the large amount of data that a computer can store, it is not capable of thinking for itself. My wife, Margaret, assures me this is a male trait. 5. A computer is lauded for its ability to solve problems but many times, the computer itself is the problem. This is another male characteristic. 6. Every mistake we make is stored in a computer’s memory and retained for later retrieval. Women seem to thrive on this ability. 7. Once you choose a computer, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you may have gotten something that was much better. I give this one to men for being more fickle. 8. After choosing a computer, you will spend large sums of money to purchase accessories and other such additional items for it. This was close, but I find this to be more true of women. No wonder we refer to our computers as it, rather than he or she. 9 MARCH/APRIL 2017 | TAMPA BAY MAGAZINE 151
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