Life after i do and before i won’t top 4 reasons marriage fails When a couple stands before God in front of their family and friends and exchanges vows to spend their lives together through better and worse, neither one expects when the worse comes it will be the end. If that were the case, couples wouldn’t promise to spend the rest of their lives together at the exclusion of everyone else. Things don’t go from magical to irreconcilable overnight. Often there are long periods of tolerance and complacency, usually ending in divorce court. Couples just don’t wake up in love and blissfully happy one minute and wishing the other was gone the next. Between the magic and the marital end, there are generally warning signs throughout the marriage that changes must be made before permanent changes are undeniable. No communication. Couples go from speaking several times a day about nothing in particular during dating, to not at all about something important in the marriage. Lack of communication (excluding criticism and nagging) is not only unhealthy in a marriage, but it could be a sign there are issues that need to be addressed, i.e. communicated. Partners need to know that they are still needed and wanted in more ways than just raising kids or bringing home a paycheck. Matters of concern are best when dealt frequently as they occur rather than all at once after building up over time with resentment. Besides, it is much more effective and strategic to timely talk about one thing at a time if there is any hope of change. No intimacy. A lack of intimacy is often a signal the marriage may be in trouble. The benefit or obligation of marriage is sex with one partner period. Like courtship communication, couples can’t always keep the same frequency of sexual contact especially when there are kids, jobs and the task of staying up late or getting up early is not a viable option. However, sex still needs to happen on some regular occurrence not just limited to birthdays or special occasions. Intimacy is more than just sex, it is kissing, hand holding, exchanging words of love, note writing…all the ways a partner knows they are still “the one.” No time together. Spending as much time together enjoying the other’s interests happens during the dating phase. At some point in the Meet the Attorney Amanda Salcido is an attorney practicing in family and dependency law. She is also a soldier in the United States Army JAG Corps. She take a personal, hands-on approach in representing her clients. For more information visit her website. Salcido Law Office Call Amanda to schedule an appointment. 480-299-9969 SalcidoLawOffice.com 28 WomanToWomanMagazine.com
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