By Betty Jane Monday Night. It was dart night, just like any other, when in walked what appeared to be two “ladies of the night.” I could smell the 99 cent gallon of perfume before they even walked in the door. It didn’t take but three minutes before one of them had their skirt around their waist. Thank God she was at least wearing panties. After 20 minutes of them harassing customers for free drinks, the ‘ladies’ took off out the door in the hunt for more profitable game when none of my customers fell for it. The disinfectant to clean their chairs cost more than their perfume. We all had a good giggle and I continued to shuck and jive, slinging drinks and thinking I was all in the clear for the evening. HaHaHa! Not even close!! While the “ladies” had been occupying my time, it turned out there was a hot mess in the alley trying to sell drugs. When she couldn’t find any takers, she became so persistent that an unknown individual threw 24 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | MAY 2017 something at her that hit her in the face. Granted, my sympathy level was fairly low, but I gave her a towel and told her to get the hell off Tybee. I thought I was rather pleasant about it, all things considered. As I was coming back inside from the fiasco outside, the guy that had been taking a very peaceful nap on the bar for the last hour and half decided to wake up. During his entire nappy time, most of the bar patrons had been throwing napkins and spit wads at him trying to rouse him out of his drunken stupor. One had even snapped a wet towel in his face, which hurts like a sum bitch when it actually makes contact with skin. As he finally came to and stood up, we all cheered and clapped excitedly for him as though we had all won Keno (hey, we take our cheap thrills were we can). The thrill was very short lived. He made it about 10 feet before he stopped by the bathroom (and I say BY the bathroom NOT IN the bathroom), where he must have thought to himself “now and here is a good time to take a piss” … out comes his twig and berries and my nappy time drunk proceeds to piss all over the floor! The recoils of horror, in retrospect, my own included, were hilarious! At the time, however, it was not amusing and I wanted to hurt him with his own tan banana! I was saved the trouble, as at the exact moment of nappy drunk dropping trou, the boss walked in. The timing was so superb I could not help but laugh, as I wouldn’t have to clean it all up by myself! The boss frog marched nappy out the door and I have not seen him since and I sincerely hope I never do. After all that, the rest of the evening was a cake walk! If this is seriously any indication of the upcoming season, then Tybee bartenders - y’all better buckle up and hold on to your asses! Love Betty Jane
20031TB
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