Life’s a Beach Events What’s happening in May By Mom 5-1, 5-8, 5-15, 5-22, 5-31 Tybee Island Farmer’s Market 4-7pm at Tybee Lighthouse grounds, 30 Meddin Dr. The Farmer’s Market will be open every Monday through October. Everything from fresh veggies to art work. Support your local Farmers and Artists! 5-4 thru 5-6 Tybee Wine Festival On 5-4 is the Art of Pairing, 7pm at Tybee Island Social Club, 1311 Butler Ave. On 5-5 is Viva l’Italia! from 7-10 pm at Tybee Post Theater, 10 Van Horn Ave., with wine tasting and a concert by Poperazzi. On 5-6 is Grand Wine Tasting, 3-6pm at Tybee Island Light Station, 30 Meddin Drive. Enjoy live music, silent auction, food, and of course, wine. Also on 5-6 is a Popperazzi Encore. All proceeds benefit the non-profit Tybee Post Theater. Go to www.tybeeposttheater.org or call for further info at 912- 472-4790. 5-5 thru 5-7 Tybee Rainbow Fest On 5-5 Meet and Greet at Coco’s from 5-7pm, then a Kick-off Celebration at Social Club from 7pm-1am. On 5-6 Tybee Rainbow Fest Parade at 3pm, starting at City Hall, Party at the Sand Bar from 6:30-10pm, and Sweet Tease Burlesque Show at Bernie’s from 10pm-3am. Check out Tybee Rainbow Fest on Facebook for more info. 5-6 20th Annual Tybee Island Tour of Homes 10am-4pm at various locations. Proceeds will benefit the Maritime Academy at 714 Lovell Ave. For details of tickets, locations, and lunch, go to www.tybeetourofhomes. com or contact the Academy at 912-395-4060. 5-10 Beach Bum Coronation 6:30pm at Marlin Monroe’s. Come watch the crowning of the Grand Marshall, Queen and Big Kahuna. There will be food, booze, music and bums! 5-13 thru 5-14 Annual Beach Bum Open Volleyball Tournament 9am- 6pm at Pier & Pavilion on the 13th. Spectators can root for their favorite pros and participate in contests and promotions. 10am-4pm on the 14th. Go to www.evptour.com for details. 5-12 & 5-26 Sunset Tours 2017 After-hours tours of the Tybee Island Lighthouse at 30 Meddin Ave. Call 912-786-5801 for reservations. 5-12 SCAD Sand Arts Festival 10am at South Beach of Tybee by the pier. Come watch the students and Alumni of SCAD create their stunning designs in the sand. For more info email Chris Williams at chwillia@scad. edu. 5-12 & 5-13 Pride and Prejudice 7pm at Tybee Post Theater, 10 Van Horne Ave. This performance is being done by the FEFC Youth Theatre Ensemble. For all events go to www.tybeeposttheater.org or call for further info at 912- 472-4790. 5-14 Happy Mother’s Day! Don’t forget to call your Mom! 5-15 Songs from The Silver Screen 5-7pm at Tybee Post Theater, 10 Van Horne Ave. The Wilde School of Music presents “Let’s Go to the Movies! Songs from the Silver Screen.” For all events go to www. tybeeposttheater.org or call for further info at 912- 472-4790. 5-19 31st Annual Tybee Island Beach Bum Parade 6:30-8pm on Butler Ave. Prepare yourselves for a good soaking! Have a great time and be safe too! 5-27 and 28 Tybee Arts Memorial Day Art Show Tybee Arts Association will be hosting an Art Show on Saturday 11am-6pm and Sunday 11am-5pm at #7 Cedarwood Ave. 5-29 TIPD VIP Luncheon – Neighbors Helping Neighbors 11am to noon at Memorial Park. If you need some assistance or want to help, contact Richard Dascall at 912-484-8833 for further info. 28 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | MAY 2017 By Jimmy Prosser Reasons NOT to go to the Doctor Recently I decided all by my adult self - and not after three months of my mother nagging me - to go in to the doctor for a checkup. Seemingly simple. Find a doctor, make an appointment, and of course, Lie about diet, exercise, and alcohol consumption. Typical adult stuff. Prior to my first scheduled visit, I received a phone call from the doctor’s office, wanting me to find out from my insurance company where my new doctor could send blood work and any other tests going into the future. First things first, I went to my health insurer’s website, and since I had only three options, I made a highly uneducated guess that this very common question would be somewhere on their web site. Now Ambetter (yeah you hoe, I’m throwing you under the bus) has an awful to use website. Your option(s) are: Pay your premium. That’s it. So now I had to call them. I had a few minutes so I gave their 800 number a jingle, went ALL the way through the prompts, why are you calling, what do you want from us, who are you, robot after robot. Then “Your call is very important to us, and will be answered in the order in which it was received.” Typical, well, ten minutes went by, then 20, before I realized I’d been on hold for 38 minutes! I needed to run in to Savannah (yuck), so I put the phone on speaker, put it on the charger in the car, and off I went. I was driving around midtown when I realized I had been on hold for 120 minutes - that’s TWO HOURS! TWO HOURS!! And do you think the hold music was light rock from the early 90s? No. It was sounds of nature, wind rustling leaves, and a babbling brook. At this point I was livid. LIVID! I hung up. And promptly called again. I continued my errands - on hold - on speaker phone, with the sounds of ducks quacking and reindeer playing reindeer games. I was becoming irate. I was paying way too much money to be ignored like this. I found myself returning from my shopping - at 100 minutes on hold for the second time. I was peaking the Lazaretto Bridge and when I hit the top I was getting ready to hurl the phone out the window into the water. But then! “Thank you for calling Ambetter from -” “WHAT LAB DO I SEND MY TESTS TO?” - I cut him off before he could finish. He told me and I abruptly ended the call. Not even a colorful response from my otherwise sarcastic personality. Ok, so I went to my doctor’s appointment. I’m healthy, I had been practicing all my lies in the waiting room about how well I treat my body. Everything checked out (I should be a lawyer). Only issue was my blood pressure. It was high, and not like “Oh, we should monitor that” but more like “You will be dead within the hour.” We revisited the diet and exercise discussion, and I stuck with my lies. Then she asked about stress. Really? Stress, you mean like spending four flippin’ hours on hold with my insurance company so I could come here and be told I’m otherwise healthy - except for stress. WHICH I DID NOT HAVE PRIOR TO THIS VISIT?? So as punishment for being healthy, and having medical insurance, I’m now on a strict diet of tasteless, bland, and a little orange pill to lower my blood pressure. The moral of this story is: If you’re healthy, don’t go to the doctor. They will force you to take on additional stress so they can sell you pills.
20031TB
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