From the RIVER’S END... It seems everywhere we look, we are surrounded by mysteries in life, and there is an inordinate amount of the mysterious to be found in this region – Tybee Island is no exception. The folks over in Savannah have long paraded their shrouds of unknowns within lucrative business models for tourism, and questionably scripted ‘reality’ shows. These often leave the viewer questioning the validity more and more upon viewing, hearing, or otherwise ‘witnessing’ the unexplained. The concept of bearing witness to the mysterious means that there are some aspects that haven’t been realized, or understood. Recently, I learned, firsthand, that there are many unexplained phenomena on Tybee Island, as well. One day, as I lounged on my couch after a particularly hectic work week I noticed a dancing of crystal-like formations on my ceilings that was particularly unfamiliar. Now, I’m a miracle of modern science in that I’ve been prescribed more pharmaceuticals than any one person should probably be allowed, but this was a vision that even with the rose-colored chemical induction, made this perspective one that was truly unique. Nevertheless, attending college with a name like mine meant that I was particularly popular in science labs. So, after working alongside colleagues that have familiarized themselves with, let’s just say, an ‘extensive drug regimen,’ a recurring theme when coming into contact with the supernatural - its best to have a ‘current inventory.’ Sensing that I’d not attended any Grateful Dead shows recently, and possessing no hallucinogens that may have made their way into my system through an interesting cocktail comprised of blood pressure & statin reducing medication (for cholesterol), I shook my head in amazement. Laughingly, I understood that in this moment, like those rednecks that get abducted by aliens in exotic locations such as Alabama, I was alone at this time – without anyone else around to verify what I was witnessing. From time to time, I’ve heard stories of people facing extremely adverse scenarios tunneling their perspectives in order to perform at optimal levels in situations, such as athletic pursuits, sporting games, or the battlefield, to name a few. At this moment, though, I was taken aback to determine just what in the world I was coming into contact with. Not to be ‘that guy,’ I was unnerved, so my sudden, spontaneous application of the scientific method resembled the obnoxious guy at the magic show obnoxiously trying to announce how magic tricks are done during the performance of illusions rather than the calm, cool, collected types you see in white lab coats on television. For a brief moment, my initial response was to imagine one of my ‘friends’ may be playing a prank on me by placing prismed lights on my ceiling to either make me think I was having some type of flashback, or coming into contact with a supernatural being… Yet, speaking of inventories, I quickly dismissed this notion because I really don’t have that many real friends, especially smart enough to provide an optical illusion of this caliber that would result in my descent into madness. Not that all my friends are dumb, but I’d imagine even Hunter S. Thompson would question the validity of a friend that would pull such a stunt as this… Undeterred, I began applying a method of closing doors and windows to restrict, or refract the light that was entering my house on such a gorgeous spring afternoon. I immediately felt myself to be at a disadvantage without the fancy meters, decibel readers, and handy devices that supposedly exist to communicate with the ‘other side.’ Having none of these seen commonly on ‘Ghost Hunters,’ or ‘Paranormal Activity,’ I hoped that after my years of refereeing for vacationers, and studying social sciences for the majority of my classes, that I’d be able recall some type of scientific-concept that didn’t involve me retreating to a padded cell, a straightjacket, and hearing voices and seeing pixies… 38 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | MAY 2017 Undaunted by social paradigms and limited scientific acumen, I noticed that as I closed the front door to my house, and closed the mini-blinds in my living room window, the dancing shapes that gleamed and glowed in a glaring haze would go away. As I closed the door on what seemed like the fifteenth consecutive hour of Marco Polo being played by the campground children in the pool – the culprit presented itself. It was the sunlight reflecting off of the pool, reflecting through the screens along my front porch, and presenting itself in an amazing spectacle along my ceiling. As I returned back to my couch to resume my afternoon of leisure, I mumbled something to myself about the 9-step journey to my front door that may have saved all of mankind by not perceiving this as a religious sign that would negatively impact people in Alabama and other locations where aliens choose to abduct their subjects. Then again, there may be a dismayed alien hovering over Tybee Island, scratching his enlarged head and asking his fellow alien colleagues just what refractory light, and the scientific method are – and why that island dwelling dude didn’t receive ‘the sign’… By Woody Hemphill Tybee Insurance Agency Inc. Serving Tybee Island since 1987 • Homeowner’s Insurance • Flood Insurance • Renter’s Insurance • Condo Owner’s Insurance • All Commercial Insurance Call Carrie Traeger 204 First Street “Mrs. Jiggs” 912-786-5541
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