Under the Covers of Fear by Wendy Petzold I know what it’s like to be paralyzed. I’ve been paralyzed from the waist down since I was sixteen—the result of a horrific car accident. Recently, however, I experienced a new kind of paralysis. One brought on by fear. This paralysis was so strong, I literally couldn’t move. It all started with a spot on my tailbone. Seems minor, but six years ago, a similar thing led to an awful infection. I received many rounds of antibiotics, but nothing was able to knock it out. I was on bed rest for almost ten months. I felt so helpless as I missed out on life and so many activities with my family. I’ve thought about that lonely time almost daily, and I often fear it will happen again. That’s why, when I noticed that small pimple, I panicked. “Here we go again,” I immediately thought. “It’s happening. You’re going to get an infection and miss out on life just like you did before. You aren’t going to be able to travel, be a part of family activities, finish your Bible study with the ladies, nothing!” One by one, things that were precious to me vanished right before my eyes. All I could see was myself lying helplessly alone in my bed, unable to do anything. And that’s exactly where I found myself…in bed, alone, unable to do anything. Not because of an infection, mind you, but because of fear. In my panicking state, I basically put myself on bed rest and isolated myself from the world. And it was there that Satan began to have a field day with my mind, body, and soul. The more I thought about that pimple, the more fearful I became. Before I knew it, I was unable to move physically, emotionally, or spiritually. I couldn’t even bring myself to answer the phone, leave the house, or return e-mails. I lay in bed, frightened and discouraged for days— that is, until another pimple appeared, this time on my chin. I stared at my chin in the mirror without a care in the world. I knew it would be gone in a few days, so I didn’t give it a second thought. And that’s when I heard God speak these words to my heart: “How come you trust Me to take care of that pimple on your chin, but not the one on your rear? Am I not big enough to handle them both?” As I write this, I have to admit I’m embarrassed. Besides the fact that I’m telling the world that I have a pimple on my butt, I’m ashamed to admit that I, a lifelong Christian who loves God and His Word and even teaches it to others, would so being concerned and being afraid are two different things. Godly concern leads to God-led actions. Fear sidelines us and causes us to be paralyzed by our emotions. quickly forfeit God’s goodness and peace. I know better! I’ve witnessed God’s faithfulness time and time again. He’s never failed me. How could I let such a small thing—a pimple, for goodness sake!—spiral me into such turmoil? Looking back, I understand. It started the moment I took my eyes off God, the answer, and magnified my problem, the zit. When I imagined the worst possible scenario and accepted it as truth, my fear grew to paralyzing proportions. Wendy uses her story to help others persevere through their own fears. Here, Wendy shares with Texas inmates the hope they can have through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Once out from under the covers of fear, Wendy was able to experience life and enjoy her favorite family activity—waterskiing. Pictured left to right: daughter Grace, Wendy, husband Andrew, and son Aaron. continued on page 11 10 kojministries.org Issue 2 2017 photography by Lynn Novakofski photography by Nan Dickson
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