Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. (Romans 15:7) Men go through a very specific process of developing relationships. First, we become acquaintances. Then we become friends. Sometimes when a guy walks into a church, we tell him right away, “Before I even know you, you’re supposed to be my brother.” But that’s not how guys work. Guys require a process that builds relational trust in increments. So, we start at level one: accept one another (some translations say “welcome one another.”) This is a transactional relationship, where we concentrate on one-shot deals like going for coffee, or helping someone move. You must invest time at this level in order to advance to the relational level of friendship, where we can begin to do life-on-life discipleship. At that point, you have to care enough about a guy that when he shares something with you, it stays in your head. You have to remember, for instance, to call him the morning of his mother-inlaw’s 53 Wednesday—September 20•Step 1: Acquaintances surgery. You do that because you’ve developed a friendship, and you love him. A life-on-life discipleship relationship requires a long-term view. MIMBS 10 Have you experienced a time when someone tried to push you to a level of relationship you weren’t prepared for? What did you learn from that? Daily Reading: Isaiah 33:10–36:22, Galatians 5:13–26, Psalm 64:1–10, Proverbs 23:23 Thursday—September 21•Step 2: Friendship Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:11) Encouraging and strengthening each other indicates we are moving toward true friendship. That often happens through crisis or conflict. As president of my college fraternity, I found it difficult to get along with my vice president, Brian. I talk fast. To get under my skin, Brian would talk very slowly. It worked. But we had to figure out how to work together, because we served on the same executive committee. As we navigated that conflict, Brian became my best friend. Without that conflict, I don’t think we would have developed that relationship. Friendship sometimes forms the foundation for covenants. If somebody you don’t know very well wants to be your accountability partner, beware of his intentions. He may simply want to know all of your “dirt.” Accountability is an invitation built on a foundation of trust. If you’ve already gone through conflict together, you know if that guys has your back. When I know a friend is trustworthy and committed to me, I’m willing to invite him into some dangerous parts of my life that I don’t want anybody else to know. MIMBS 10 Have you ever trusted someone and then regretted it? What did you learn from that experience? Daily Reading: Isaiah 37:1–38:22, Galatians 6:1–18, Psalm 65:1–13, Proverbs 23:24
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