ASK DR. SHARON It’s Good To Talk ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ What can I do? HJ - Palmetto Parents can take a proactive approach in helping their child navigate the middle school experience and circumvent some of the hurdles in front of them during this tough developmental stage. Find ways to get your child involved in a talent or strength, such as a sport or hobby. Playing team sports or exploring something that interests your child will help your child make friends and adjust to their new peer group. In elementary school, teachers were helpful in ��nding a child a peer group or a study buddy. Middle school teachers have larger numbers of students and more classes in their day, and it is difficult to give individual attention. Find a social niche outside of school. Introduce your child to dance lessons, playing a musical instrument, martial arts, tennis lessons, singing, swimming lessons, or other activities, which help your child meet others their age. Youth activities and camps help bond children that they might not get to know in the school setting. Have your child volunteer for student council or a service club where they can meet people that may not be in their classes. My son had trouble ��tting in when we moved from a small town where he was a wrestler, to a bigger high school. His homeroom teacher was a wrestling coach, so I told the coach about our dilemma. He encouraged him to wrestle, and he made life-long friends through his sport. Maybe there is a sport, or gift, that has not been explored yet. Encourage your child to be positive, use humor, and smile a lot. Smiling engages the other person even if they do not smile back. Have them practice in stores and restaurants to speak up, make eye contact and learn basic social skills. Also, explain the art of being a good listener. Many children need to talk and will look for someone who will keep their con��dences and really listen to them. Adolescence is hard on everyone. Your child is not alone. Despite their bravado, middle schoolers are still children. Another way to fit in and meet the challenges for this time in life is to practice good hygiene. The hormones are raging and the body is developing an odor for the ��rst time. It is important to bathe daily, wash their hair and use deodorant. Dressing appropriately is most important now. They want to ��t in, not stand out. All those cute out��ts went to waste as my children and grandchildren started wearing generic, doctorotis@nextgenmagazine.org boring t-shirts and jeans. I do not buy school clothes for them any more until the second week of school so they can see the latest fashion or dress code to decide what they want to look like. Have them read magazines for their age group to determine the latest trends. Even shoes can be important. You can get the generic version of the latest fad at local discount stores. Children can add one new piece or scarf to update an older out��t. It is a challenge to balance time for good grades and time for friends. Children need to hang out to ��t in, but if the social life trumps the grades, it is time to reign them in. Encourage them to bring their friends home. It is a good chance to see who they hang with and then you know where they are. Open your home and supply the snacks and refreshments, and you will soon be the house that everyone wants to be hanging out at. ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������
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