The P ublisher Po stulates
IT’S NOT MY FAULT
34 TAMPA BAY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2017
Publisher / Editor
By Aaron R. Fodiman
I was sitting there, unsupervised, when she came over and started talking to me.
GRAM
Being the first child, much of what
I did before my sister Marilyn
was old enough to talk escaped
my parents’ scrutiny. They were
not sure how children should act, and
since I was the first grandchild as well
for my father’s family, I was treated as
a deity who could do no wrong. If I did,
it was overlooked, or called “cute.” That
all changed when Marilyn was able to
point out some of my antics that they had
overlooked, which they often ignored to
avoid having me throw a tantrum. I was
relatively young when I discovered that
I could control my parents by lying on
the floor and screaming. They were quick
learners, and in a very short period of time,
they learned that it was not worth the effort
to try to control me, as it did them no good
and seemed to aggravate me.
Unfortunately for me, as our family
expanded, they discovered that not all
children acted as I did, and that parents
were expected to control them. As Marilyn
would exclaim, “It’s his fault,” I would
reply even louder, “It is not my fault.
You left me unsupervised.” Even I knew
I needed to be watched. Left to my own
devices, something was bound to go
wrong, as I always pushed things to the
point where disaster would be inevitable.
I wouldn’t stop playing with a knife until
it pierced some part of my body. As I went
into the house with blood dripping, I could
usually hear someone saying, “Who left
him unsupervised?”
The remarkable thing about this
phenomenon is that even today, almost
80 years later, people keep saying, “Don’t
leave him unsupervised.” Margaret tries
her best, my sister Martha and brother
Melvin try to share the responsibility, but
they can’t be here all the time, and that
is when someone is bound to blurt out,
“Why did they let him go unsupervised?”
Fortunately, now most of my blunders
are strictly verbal, and those around me
understand that when I begin to speak,
no one knows exactly what will come out,
but that there is little hope that I will think
before I speak. I know others have a little
voice in their heads that tells them when
they should consider holding back the
words they are about to say. I have never
had such a voice, so I tend not to ponder
on what I am about to say and just blurt it
out. Usually, I am too busy chuckling about
how clever what I say will be to think of
whom it might offend. Unfortunately, not
everyone has my sense of humor, or if they
do, their sense of propriety is able to curb it.
So if I have ever said or done something
that you think I should not have said
or done, remember it is not my fault,
as it obviously happened while I was
“unsupervised.” Sorry, but this is just the
way it is with me. 9