LAST Words
ANN OWENS IS A WRITER, CREATIVE GENIUS, ENTREPRENEUR, MOTHER, AND
WIFE WHO ENJOYS PONDERING WHAT MAKES THE WORLD CLICK.
Putting the Pieces Together
Life is certainly full of ups and downs, but there are no accidents.
I am a horrible procrastinator. My
entire life I have put everything off
until the last minute, and it drives
many folks in my life crazy. These
articles are no exception, trust me.
Unfortunately/fortunately the Editorin
Chief of this publication is a dear
friend of mine, and it’s only because
she loves me that she puts up with my
squealing into the deadline.
The “writer’s block” struggle is real.
These last few days there have been so
many topics floating around my head:
my worldly dog, my mom moving
away, the insanity that is social media.
I even made a desperate attempt to
form an entire article around my
recent spate of colonoscopies, but how
much material can one get out of a
colonoscopy? Wait…let me rephrase
that. How much can one WRITE about
a colonoscopy? Sorry for that visual.
This time, nothing was coming
to me that made sense, and I was
really getting pretty stressed about it.
Actually, I was getting very stressed,
like, sleepless stressed. I promised
my article on Friday morning, and by
Saturday morning, my slate was still
clean. I got nothing. I figured I was
just going to go about my day and put
it out of my head for awhile because I
simply cannot – no matter how much I
force it – make a topic come to me; not
unlike how I learned a few weeks ago
that I couldn’t force on last year’s blue
jeans.
Saturday morning I headed to pick
up some t-shirts at the courthouse that
I had ordered as a fundraiser for our
lost soldier, SSG Dustin Wright, and
had planned to go grocery shopping
afterwards. I suddenly found myself in
the midst of a community-organized
Memorial Walk that I totally forgot was
happening and had not at all realized
what a big deal it was. The walk was
for September 11th (which got put off
because of the hurricane), Veteran’s
Day, and to honor our brave men
that died in Niger, most specifically
Dustin. I get a tad bit of social anxiety
when I have to be alone in a crowd,
as I suspect most of us do, but the
next thing I knew I was putting in my
ear buds, stepping way outside of my
comfort zone, and committing to take
the 2.5 mile walk. While this article
was the furthest thing from my mind,
the pull to spend my morning with
these people was definitely in the
forefront of it. I set out on my walk
to see what kind of things God had in
store for me, and I turned everything
else off so that I could just listen and
observe…this is not always an easy
task for me. A little over 7,000 steps
later, several of my favorite songs
in my ears, a melted package of Ice
Breakers mints that I had stuffed in my
bra (sweat makes them chewy – who
knew?), and a solid, chin-quivering cry
at the playing of Taps, I felt renewed
and inspired.
Biggest takeaway from the
experience: a reminder that there are
no accidents in our daily walk. Never.
When I was younger, with small
children and feeling untouchable, my
brother died very suddenly. Up to that
point, I envisioned my life as being just
like a completed puzzle. Bob was my
first real loss, and upon hearing the
news of his passing, I saw a piece of my
completed puzzle break off and slowly
float away. In my head, I actually saw
this. I was no longer whole, and it was
a devastating thing. After many, many
months of some pretty heavy grieving,
I had an epiphany: My life was not a
complete puzzle the day I was born,
but I actually earned the very first
piece of my puzzle that day and have
been earning them ever since. Every
birth, every death, every job, every
fight, every relationship, moment of
utter joy and sheer disappointment
earns me a piece, and all of that
makes up who I am. As I take my
last breath, my final piece will be
earned. Puzzle complete. There
are no accidents. Your pieces
are meant to fit together in your puzzle
of life.
As best I can tell, the greatest thing
about growing older is the wisdom that
comes with age. In the last 17 years,
I have learned that for the most part,
things happen as they are supposed to
happen. This very lesson has gotten
me through some of the toughest
times in my life. During my life’s
challenges, if I can just remember that
I will get on the other side of it, I will
have taken away something valuable.
This only happens if you are willing
to experience, to be still and listen, to
observe, and to have faith in what is to
come. For me, there is a tremendous
amount of comfort in the stillness and
the faith. I learned in my walk with
my community that something so
seemingly insignificant as changing
your planned course, taking a moment
to be still and breathe, and having faith
that there is a lesson to be learned, can
give you what you didn’t realize you
needed. That’s some good stuff, right
there.
Everything that has happened in
my life has given me some good stuff
eventually. Saturday’s walk “alone”
gave me pride in my country, time for
introspection, a sense of community,
tears, something to write about, a
puzzle piece, and even sweaty mints.
I wasn’t looking for any of that in my
day, but yet there it was, and I call that
a win.
Have faith. It’s all going to be ok,
one way or the other. Oh, and get your
colonoscopy because it also allows for
a good bit of time for “stillness and
introspection.” That’s kind of gross, I
know, but it really is worth it.
128 Toombs County Magazine