End of Life Issues
Grieving
Timing
Each person recovers from grief at his or
her own pace. Some can recover quickly, while
others can take a full year or more (this will also
depend on the severity of the loss). Be careful
not to impose a time limit or tell people to
get over it and move on - feeling that they’ve
grieved too long can cause people to suppress
their feelings, and slow or stop the healing
process.
Be Tolerant
Remember that there’s no definitive way to
experience grief. Understand that the grieving
person will always feel the loss, but that he or
she will learn to live with it over time.
Celebrate
It may sound strange to talk about celebrating,
but it can help grieving people heal. Help them
celebrate the life of the loved one they’ve lost.
Help them develop rituals they need to get
through the difficult early stages of the grieving
process.
Be Watchful
Sometimes grieving people can go to
extremes, if you notice signs of suicidal behavior
or fear they may harm themselves or others,
refer them to a mental health professional.
What Helps Grieving? (continued)
Take care of your health. Eat balanced,
nutritious meals. Rest properly. Find an
exercise you enjoy and do it regularly. If you
have physical problems, consult with your
physician promptly.
• Find outside help when necessary. If your
bereavement feels too heavy for you to bear,
find a counselor or therapist trained in grief
issues to offer you some guidance.
When Is Mourning Finished?
When these “4 Tasks” of grieving are
completed.
• To accept the reality of the loss
• To adjust to an environment in which the
deceased is missing
• To experience the pain of the grief
• To withdraw emotional energy and
reinvest it in a new relationship
HOW TO HELP A
GRIEVING PERSON
Listening
Listening to grieving people is the most
important thing you can do. Listen in a nonjudging
way, and allow them to tell their stories
over and over if they need to.
Sharing
Share your memories of the loved one, too.
Reflect on the feelings they are experiencing
- but as you share, be careful not to start oneupping
their feelings, or comparing your loss
to theirs. And don’t say “I know exactly how
you feel.” It’s usually much more helpful to say
something along the lines of “I can’t imagine
what you must be feeling right now,” because
most grieving people feel like no one else could
know what they are experiencing.
More Info Online
PolkElderCare.com
More on Grieving:
• Mourning the Death of a Spouse
• Coping with Grief
• Is Crying Required for Me to Really Grieve?
• Prolonged Grief
• Is Grieve After a Suicide a Different Grief?
• Caregivers Grief
• How to Get Back to “Normal”
• How Do I Know if I Have Really Grieved?
82 www.PolkElderCare.com