By Margie McLellan
18 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | FEB 2018
By Rem
Let’s face it, one of the top reasons we live here on
Tybee is our warm sunny climate. I didn’t move here to be cold. I try
very hard in the summer not to complain about the heat, but I never stop
complaining about the cold. Granted, winter doesn’t last long here, but
you will hear me complaining when the temp dips below 70.
I own around 10 pair of shoes. Eight of those are flip flops. I
have them in every color. I love my flip flops. I also have a pair of tennis
shoes and a pair of dress shoes. No boots. And I really don’t like not
being able to wear my flip flops.
My wardrobe consists mainly of shorts, t shirts and a light
jacket. I own two pair of pants, which have been pushed to the back of
my closet. It pisses me off to wear pants. Or to have to layer my clothes.
Or to have to put on my jacket. Or not get to wear my flip flops. Did I
mention I love my flip flops?
Going out on a limb here. As much as I hate cold, I
really hate freezing rain. It’s 33 degrees out, and we don’t get snow
(unless there is a bomb cyclone), just freezing rain. At least snow is
pretty. And when it’s cold and rainy, I can’t wear my flip flops.
You wake up, it’s dark. You get
home from work, its dark. Some days I wonder why I even get dressed,
because by 5 o’clock, I’m back in my pjs and ready to go to bed. I
need some sun! I think Tybee should pass a resolution to have DST year
round.
Living on Tybee means spending a lot of time outside.
When it gets cold here, the streets become deserted. You don’t see your
friends. You don’t go to the beach. You don’t go to the bars. You hibernate
in your home with the heat turned up full blast and binge watch the
shows on tv that you didn’t get to watch in the summer because you
were outside doing fun things with your friends.
Since all the tourists are gone (apparently they like summer
too), we can’t complain about parking, long lines, and people everywhere,
so what do we do? We turn on each other. The Coconut Telegraph is in
full swing in the winter, and gossip runs rampant. Maybe it’s from our
lack of Vitamin D.
So, on that note, I’m going to go fix myself a Pina Colada, put on my flip
flops, turn on some Jimmy Buffet music and listen to Boat Drinks. I gotta
go where it’s warm…
Sometimes we get a lot of life lessons in a short period of time. This has
been one of those periods of time for ol’ Haus Frau. Here is a list of what
I’ve learned whether I like it or not:
than a little cling wrap and a cookie tin to wrangle that buttery beast.
Apparently, what it looks like when you put it in the package is not what
it looks like when it arrives at its far off destination. I would imagine it
left its mark on every package it came in contact with during its travels,
as well. Sorry to anyone with dairy or nut allergies, oh well. Although I
was sternly told to never send baklava again, if I decide to rebel I will
seal it up like it is a biohazard! Lesson learned…maybe?
are not color blind. For the longest time, every day I would put on the
same red jacket and scarf, fill up the bucket with pellets and wander
down to feed the deer. Every day they would come a little closer and a
little closer which was getting a little sketchy. I’m looking for an arm’s
length friendship, not up in my space starving Morlocks. It took me a
bit to figure out it was more than the pellets, it was the red jacket! I
switched jackets and they were like who the hell are you? So problem
solved…maybe?
can of worms. I opened it. It was an airbag recall. It says in bold letters,
do not let anyone ride in the front passenger seat unless you want to
kill them. I blinked and read it again as I flashed through all the people
that I’ve let ride in the death seat. Therefore, from 2011 until I opened
that piece of mail it’s been a crapshoot. I call and make the appointment
and luck strikes again as I am informed I also have a seatbelt recall. So
problem solved…maybe?
mean you don’t have rats. This lesson was not one of my faves. I was
sprucing up my car to take it in for the recall repair appointment and
discovered my windshield had a crack on the driver’s side that was
eventually going to spread right across my line of sight which is highly
questionable without a crack. I got an appointment to replace it right
away, thinking this is good, the car will be all set. Oh no. Not all set.
They called to let me know I had extensive rat damage under the hood.
Wires, hoses and the fire liner were all chewed up and who knows how
long I had before being stranded on the side of the road. Fortunately, the
windshield repair shop was also able to repair all the rat damage. So
problem solved…maybe?
and the stuff you can buy at the store is not nearly as effective as what
the exterminators are privy to. The rats-in-the-car problem was not my
first rat war but it was the most expensive. To be exact, $650 and no
guarantee. I’m definitely never using that rat guy again. I quickly made
an appointment for rat extermination and had the ‘good stuff’ put in
my basement and garage. $170 with a 3-month guarantee. So problem
solved and lesson learned…maybe?
REASONS I HATE
WINTER:
LIFE LESSONS