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I’M Too Busy to Write this Article
By Jenny Elllis
Although my editor, I’m sure you all know her (she’s a real peach), and I agreed upon a different title of the article, I think the content will be the same. In
April of 2017, I quit my corporate job in fashion. I could literally not take it anymore. Everything you have heard about the fashion industry is true. There is
a “Devil Wears Prada” in EVERY single meeting and we met all day, every day about nothing. And truthfully, it was unnecessary to withstand the amount of
bullshit I was dealing with for the money I was making, so it didn’t really make my decision so hard. The circus act lost its humor.
So here I am, too busy to write this article? I’m sleeping like a freakin baby every night. The dark circles under my eyes have almost vanished (except when
I get impromptu shitfaced with my neighbors because who cares why and who needs a reason), my relationships have improved because I actually see the
daylight and can call my friends and family during normal hours, and I’m not crying to my boyfriend ever, and the list goes on and on. For the record, I am NOT
advocating anyone to quit their job, there are plenty of amazing corporations doing really well at keeping their employees fed & bathed. I’m merely trying to
explain to my friend Alaina why I’m too busy to write this article in hopes that a.) She continues to let me write for this magazine, and b.) I can make her laugh.
I’m just too busy. For instance, I currently manage 3 Instagram accounts and 2 Facebook accounts. Of the 3 Instagram accounts, one belongs to my very
handsome, over-excited about everything, cute as anything, yellow-lab “Marlin.” He needed an Instagram page because well, I thought I could make him
locally famous, and then maybe regionally famous, and then he’d end up on a dog food bag and I wouldn’t have to worry about making money. He only has
100 followers so … baby steps. If you want to follow him, here is my shameless plug: @Marlin.The.Naples.Dog. Truth be told, he gets WAY more “likes” than
I do. But that takes up some time. I’m constantly trying to get the right image of the day, and if you are a pet owner, you know how difficult it is to get them
to understand English. They are such divas! He also doesn’t poop in one place. Oh no, he a “poop-walker.” It’s a very rare condition in dogs in where the dog
thinks it’s funny and inconvenient to spread his poop around someone else’s yard as they watch you try to pick up all the large turdlets he’s just dropped. I’m
literally jealous of the amount of poop my dog lets go of every day. No wonder he’s always in a good mood.
I’m also a coffee snob, so on top of catering to my overflowing pooping doggie, I enjoy the perfect cup of coffee. And it takes time to load the Nespresso
machine and press the green button. Ugh, why doesn’t she understand how busy I am?
I also work 3 days a week for an interior design firm and when I’m not managing their projects, I’m trying to lift a one-of-a-kind & custom pillow company
off the ground. Which, if you are like the rest of the world, doesn’t give a shit and would rather check out pics of my dog swimming in the Gulf of Mexico. I
mean, it’s not a hard choice.
I also really enjoy The People’s Court. Yes, I’ve become addicted to daytime court shows. But to my defense, I record them on my DVR to get through the
commercials and not feel like a loser watching them mid-day. I mean, I am too busy to watch them mid-day anyway.
The overall sarcastic and yet truthful tone of this article is to remind everyone to take time for the things that matter to you and to stop saying how busy you
are. Because we all know that there is ALWAYS time for the people and things that matter in your life. And if you are struggling to be a good friend, mother,
father, or spouse, just take the time today to tell all those people that you are thinking about them and you love them. No one is too busy for a text. You will
make someone’s day. Guaranteed. And clean up after your dog, you’re not too busy for that either.
TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | FEB 2018 19