The Real Adam by Adam There’s a way of life that looks harmless enough; look again— it leads straight to hell. Sure, those people appear to be having a good time, but all that laughter will end in heartbreak. PROVERBS 14:12 MSG I once saw a way of life that seemed right. It offered excitement and adventure, acceptance and fun, fame and glory. I ran down that path and embraced all it had to offer without one look back. I must admit…life was fun for a while. I was 16 years old and living thousands of miles away from home—it was a teenager’s dream! Eager to pursue a professional career in the art of dance, I moved from my home in New Port Richey, Florida, to attend the San Francisco School of Ballet. There, I immersed my naive and impressionable self in a fast-paced lifestyle with few moral limits. It was an attractive life to a young man desiring to be part of something bigger than himself. My new life provided everything I thought I wanted and more. It brought new friends and opportunities, excitement and adventure, and it aroused powerful desires I had not known. I sought to fulfill every one, never once considering where this path might lead me. Before I knew it, I was swept away into a lifestyle of drugs, alcohol, and homosexuality. I was a year and a half into this path when I “came out of the closet” and told my parents I was gay. They immediately brought me back home to Florida. They affirmed their love for me but made it very clear they did not approve of my lifestyle, nor would they support me in it. I was on my own. This was a lonely and difficult time. In many ways, I thought my life was over. But I pressed on, determined to live life my way. I joined the Orlando Ballet’s Second Company and then, a year later, moved to Texas where I performed in Fort Worth for seven years. Looking back, I am appalled at the person I had become. I had absolutely no regard for anyone but myself, and I lived only to please my flesh. It wasn’t long before my flesh took control of me, and I became its prisoner. My journey to freedom began on October 2, 2011. Desperate to quench my insatiable desire for alcohol, I went to the dance studio to steal a bottle of wine. I quickly located the bottle and turned to leave when very clearly, I heard a voice say, “This isn’t you.” Startled, I put the wine bottle back. At the time, I thought I’d made up those words, but I am now certain that it was the voice of God’s Spirit reminding me of the truth of who I was and who I was not. In God’s eyes, I wasn’t a thief, a drunkard, a drug addict, a gossiper, or a homosexual. Yes, I chose to do those things, but they weren’t the real me. They weren’t how God saw me or how He created me. I was made for so much more. God had a plan for my life. He’d designed me with purpose and given me the gift of dance to glorify Him. And He’d given me opportunities to be a light for Him, but I had perverted them. I had used them for the kingdom of darkness. I know that now. Thank goodness, God never gave up on me. No matter how far I went down the world’s path, He pursued me with His everlasting and unfailing love. The weekend following my wine-bottle/ voice-of-God encounter, I finally surrendered to God’s persistent pursuit. For some reason—I don’t remember why—I attended McKinney Bible Church with a friend. I don’t recall wanting to go to church or desiring to know God, but nonetheless, there I was. And while there, my eyes and heart were finally opened to God’s unconditional love for me. It was like a veil had been lifted. So I came to Him, just as I was. I didn’t wait until I was on the right track. I came to Him while off track—deep in sin, and completely lost. He received me and loved me, despite everything I had done. Adam’s greatest desire is for people to discover the person God created them to be, not the person the world has shaped. He uses his dance to reflect the freedom from addictions that he’s discovered through his relationship with Christ. 14 kojministries.org Issue 3 2017 photography by Paula Hollis of Vigee Photo Artistry
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