continued on page 16 In God’s eyes, I wasn’t a thief, a drunkard, a drug addict, a gossiper, or a homosexual. Yes, I chose to do those things, but they weren’t the real me. Foundation of Love by Ashley When I hear about who my husband used to be, I can’t even imagine it. He is so far removed from that person now, there’s not a trace of him to be found. When I first met Adam in Fort Worth, Texas, he was already living a redeemed life through his relationship with Jesus Christ. I never met the old Adam. God had already touched his heart, and because Adam had responded to God’s love, his life reflected the very image of God. Adam has said he may seem effeminate at times, but I disagree. When I look at my husband, I see a manly man of God. When he dances, I see power mixed with grace. He is a kind man who loves God and lovingly leads and protects others. He is a man who loves me, his wife, as Christ loved the church. If masculinity is anything other than these things, I don’t want it. Some people wonder if I’m concerned about Adam’s past choice of homosexuality. I’m not. Adam and I are both committed to building our relationship on the love of God. Therefore, I am certain that, as we continually seek God with our whole hearts, we both will be drawn closer to God—and ultimately closer to each other. It’s kind of like a triangle: God is at the top, and Adam and I are at the corners. As we continue down a path toward God, we can’t help but come together in Him. It’s the only way any marriage can grow in strength and survive the temptations of this world. Christ is the only sure foundation. Of course, I’ve battled fear, and Adam has as well. But we give those fears to God. We refuse to give them place in our lives. They are lies of the enemy. Instead, we keep our eyes and hearts focused on God and trust Him to handle even the most intimate details of our lives. He is a good, faithful Father who will give us the desires of our hearts. And we desire to live a marriage that honors God in every way. �� I fell to my knees and sobbed as God’s love poured over me, washing away all my sin and shame. I was completely undone as the burden of the world’s path lifted off my shoulders. In response to God’s love, I realized that the least I could do was give my life to Him—all of it. So I came to Him, just as I was. I didn’t wait until I was on the right track. I came to Him while off track—deep in sin, and completely lost. He received me and loved me, despite everything I had done. I decided that day that, no matter what, I would live for God. I didn’t know completely what that meant, but I was trusting God to help me live my life according to His Word and His way. I didn’t want my way anymore. It was too heavy of a burden to carry. I wanted to be who God had created me to be. I wanted to be the real Adam, not the version of Adam the world and I had created. Now, one might think that when a person surrenders his or her life to Christ, they would suddenly be transformed. That peace and joy would flood their soul. But that is not what happened to me. I’m telling you, I literally lost my mind. I went cray cray. That’s crazy on top of crazy! My surrender to God ignited a spiritual battle for my soul that almost left me dead. Knowing he had lost me for eternity, Satan unleashed an army of demons to attack my mind and body. He fought like mad to destroy my life here on earth. For days, I couldn’t eat, sleep, or think straight. The battle came to a head at the dance company about a week after I had given my life to Christ. I went to work, completely out of my mind and looking like death. My frightened and confused peers called an ambulance that transported me to a local hospital. At the hospital, I ran wildly up and down the halls screaming and singing, “You Are My Sunshine” at the top of my lungs. Unable to calm me, the medics shot me with a tranquilizer dart, right smack in the butt. What a sight I must have been! Photography by Paula Hollis of Vigee Photo Artistry kojministries.org Issue 3 2017 15
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