said, “Jason, I don’t have the answers to your questions. You need to ask God.” I was like, no way! What if I spent all that time talking to God, and He wasn’t even real? I’d feel like an idiot! The real issue, however, was that I was too ashamed of the person I’d become to even approach God. Finally, desperate for truth, I took Dee’s advice and began asking God my questions. But I heard nothing. I gave God ten seconds to speak, then a minute, then five minutes. And still nothing. I called Dee and complained. She told me to ask the Holy Spirit to fill me and to communicate the very heart of God to my heart. It was mechanical at first. All I knew was to repeat what I’d seen in church many years before. But eventually, my desperation for God won out. I fell flat on my face and cried out to Him. What I am about to share may make you uncomfortable, but it is a true account of how God revealed Himself to me. God knew I needed a bold, tangible, in-your-face encounter that I could Betrayed. That’s how I felt. Betrayed by my dad for leaving me and betrayed by God for allowing him to go. cling to for the rest of my life. I’m a bit hardheaded like that—but God meets us all right where we are. As I cried out for the Holy Spirit to fill me with His love and wisdom, my body began to lock up, and I began to cry uncontrollably. It was like years of grief poured from my soul. Then, suddenly, it felt as if someone had unscrewed the top of my head and began filling me with warm water. Ultimate comfort is how I would describe it. Next, I began to see things, visions of sorts. I saw Dee standing in a mountain setting with a wedding ring on her finger and child in hand. And then I came to. Jesse Holloway Photography The real issue, however, was that I was too ashamed of the person I’d become to even approach God. I looked over at the bed next to mine…and there was one of my crew members, passed out cold from a night of partying. Drool ran down his cheek. What a sad picture of my old life. I was ready for a new one. “You win, God,” I said. “Your power and Your presence is undeniable. Forgive me. Save me. Redeem my life and make me new.” In that moment, I surrendered my heart to God. I called my sister, who had been praying for me for years, to tell her the good news. Then I called Dee. It was 4 a.m. I hesitated at first to tell her about my dream, afraid it would run her off. We’d only been talking on the phone for five months at this point. She insisted, however, and I gave in. She listened, then she told me about a book she had compiled that contained her own dreams. It had words and pictures, one of which was a picture of her being married on a mountain. Everything she shared with me lined up exactly with the things I had seen in my vision. That was all the confirmation I needed. I told Dee I was moving to Orlando to marry her. She was like, “Umm, why don’t we start with dating.” I moved to Orlando, we started dating, and we were married eight months later. Dee and her family invited me to First Baptist Orlando. The moment I walked into that church, I felt at home. Listening to the choir and the worship team, I realized that leading people into the presence of continued on page 11 Dee Lancaster of Dear Dee Photography kojministries.org Issue 3 2017 9
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