in conversation with emma johnson author of the kickass single mom” why did you write the kickass single mom? When I was becoming a single mom, I felt so alone, and doomed. There weren’t any positive, progressive resources out there that spoke to me: a professional single mom who had big career goals, a modern dating life and parenting practices not stuck in the 1950s. Five years ago this need drove me to launch my blog, Wealthysinglemommy.com, and then my podcast, Like a Mother. It quickly became clear that there are countless women like me throughout the country — and world: Educated, hustling, brilliant women who are either in incredible positions of success, or striving to get there, while also building thriving personal lives and raising great kids. Yet we all faced the same challenges: Negative, toxic, sexist messages about what we are capable of from both the world at large, and those closest to us. There is a disconnect, one that aligns with my passion for feminism, and gender equality. I realized that in order to change sexism in the world, we need a different story for moms in non-traditional families. Two years ago, my work with single moms became my full-time job, and this book is one important part of my mission to help single moms lead really, incredible, kickass lives. single moms often feel guilty that they cannot be stay-at-home-moms. why do you say that this ‘mom guilt’ is unfounded? Women have been financially critical to their families since the dawn of time: Typically, either working alongside men on the family farm, or running family businesses alongside men. Never in history have women spent their prime earning years devoted full-time to child rearing. It has only been in the past 100 years in the developed world that women have gained financial and political rights that mean our labor is tracked (plus, the rise of the labor force means all workers’ wages are tracked more effectively). In those post-war years of the 1950s and 1960s, media celebrated the June Cleaver model as ideal — women staying home full-time devoted to children and marginal housekeeping, since most of housework has been outsourced thanks to technology (prepared food at the grocery store, easy-to-clean tile/carpet/ linoleum/hardwood floors/ ready-made clothes and linens, and on and on). Plus: Please read Betty Fridan’s 1963 Feminine Mystique. All the June Cleavers were bored, depressed and strung out on barbiturates and 2 p.m. cocktails — then burned their bras and rioted for equal pay in the 1970s! Thankfully, troves of recent scientific research has freed women from pressure to be the omnipotent, dependent stay-at-home mom — or, more statistically likely, a guilty mom who works, as 70 percent of mothers do work, most likely because they and their children need to eat! A meta study by University of Maryland researchers found that after age 2, there is ZERO connection between the quantity of hours parents spend with their children, and those kids’ emotional, academic or other wellbeing. Further, Kathleen McGinn and Harvard studied families in 25 countries and found that children whose mothers worked for pay outside the home 34 WomanToWomanMagazine.com
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