110 SARASOTA SCENE | JANUARY 2018
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• Penguins wearing hats
• Quinoa
• British protest signs
(“What do we want?
Evidence-based change!
When do we want it? After
peer review!”)
• Spouses who say “I was just going to start that
chore that I notice you’re already doing.”
• People who pick the seeds off a strawberry.
• Yellow Pages (my kid once saw one of those
dinosaur-age things in our driveway and asked,
“Daddy? Why are people leaving trash in our
yard?”)
• Wives who ask husbands what they want for
dinner . . . then tell the husbands that they’re
wrong.
• Shoving 45 gummy bears in my mouth at once
• Flavored nail polish
• Sports haiku
• Slowly replacing all the photos in the house
with pictures of Ryan Gosling
Now that I’ve shared a bit of what makes me tick, I
trust that we’re beginning to understand each other.
But just to make sure I have a solid sense of what
to any person wearing a brown t-shirt next month
(it’s probably me—my wife just alerted me to the
fact that I now own not one, not two, but THREE
brown t-shirts and if I don’t start wearing them,
consequences are forthcoming) and list away as
many things as you can think of that make you
chortle. Bonus points if the list of these rib-ticklers
includes the word “chortle.”
So I’ll see you back here next month. And in the
man, I’d say it was likely the same jerk.
Have something special you want to
share with Ryan about life, liberty
and the pursuit of laughter? Email
him at ryan@scenesarasota.com.