BesT WORST THING EVER by Anthony Rodriguez
Every child needs a time-out occasionally—a
myself. Bitterness, anger, resentment, pride, and
moment away from a scene where the child can sit
weariness began to set in and overtake me. But I
and reflect on what they’ve done and, hopefully,
was too “spiritual” to ask for help.
come away with a new perspective. There came a
My physical health began to deteriorate as well,
time when, as a child of God, I needed a time-out.
and I experienced tremendous back pain. A friend
I needed to be put in a place where I could sit and
offered me some pain pills. It seemed innocent
reflect, as well as listen and learn. In 2015, God
enough. I didn’t know those pills would lead me
gave me that much-needed time-out in the form
down another costly road of addiction. They eased
of a prison sentence. It was the best worst thing
my back pain, but more than that, they eased
that ever happened to me.
every pain.
Would you be shocked if I told you I was the
Suddenly my burdens weren’t so overwhelming.
pastor of a thriving church when I experienced my
I loved how those drugs made me feel, but when
time-out? Yes, a pastor. A Christian. A believer in
their effects wore off, I was a mess, more anxious
Jesus Christ who had experienced so much grace
and more in pain than ever. And now I had guilt,
and freedom…and who was responsible for
shame, and a life of secrecy to deal with.
helping others find the same. Not only that, I was
When the church leaders discovered my
the husband of a beautiful, godly wife, the owner
addiction, they removed me from my pastoral
of a profitable barbershop, and the father of an
position—and rightly so. Unfortunately, however,
amazing son.
I was never offered help. I was told to handle the
They say sin will take you further than you want
situation with prayer.
to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and
Now don’t get me wrong. I believe prayer is
cost you more than you want to pay. Whoever
vital in a person’s journey to healing, and I believe
they are, they are right. Sin always carries a great
God can heal an addict. He had previously healed
cost, and no one is immune from its penalty. Not
even a pastor. Sin cost me everything.
As a teen, I messed around with drugs and
alcohol. My parents weren’t users, but they allowed
users in our home who influenced me negatively.
As a young adult, I became addicted to drugs and
alcohol. My sinful addictions cost me my job and
my dream of being in the Marine Corps.
But then I was introduced to Jesus. I received
Him as my personal Lord and Savior, and
immediately, I was set free. Overnight, my desire
for drugs and alcohol was gone. I was a new man.
For the next four years, I walked with God, learned
His ways, and shared His grace with others.
God blessed me so much, but I let my guard
down and allowed sin to reenter my life. In my
pride, I refused to seek help. “I’ve got this,” I
convinced myself. But it had me!
Proverbs 16:18 says: “Pride goes before
destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.” My
sin led to a huge fall that cost me everything—my
barbershop, my position as a pastor, my reputation
in the community, and my health and family.
Leading a growing congregation, I was
experiencing a lot of stress. Being a pastor is
a great responsibility, but instead of allowing
God to shoulder my burdens, I took them upon
me and instantaneously taken away my desire
for substances, remember? But now, God was
showing me the heart issues that were leading
to my destruction. Yes, I needed prayer, but I also
needed godly people and programs to help me
overcome. Addiction is a disease with deep roots,
and these roots must be dealt with to obtain longterm
recovery.
In my hurt and pride, I said, “Forget the
church! Forget everyone! I can do this myself.”
It felt like everyone had turned against me,
like the people who should have been helping
me were disappearing from my life instead.
The things people said about my family and me…
the rejection…I was crushed. Between the very
real lack of support and the hardening of my
heart, my condition worsened.
It wasn’t long before I was
hitting the streets looking for
other drugs to ease my
pain. I became known
as the “pistol-packing
pastor.” It’s not a title
In My HurT aNd PriDe,
I sAid, “ForGet thE
ChuRch! fOrgEt EveRyoNe!
I cAn Do ThiS mYseLf.”
10 kojministries.org Issue 1 2018 Photography by Tim Smith Honor Photography
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