Survivin’ Pirate Fest
by: Scurvy McGillywhiskers
Welcome aboard a weekend that be anythin‘
but ordinary, filled wit merriment, spiced grog,
‘n hot wenches stuffed in tiny corsets!! Tis be
a place whar imagination be free to take flight,
magic may exist once again, ‘n ye can forget
reality fer a few short days or hours dependin‘
on how much a ruckas ye can handle. Thar be
somethin‘ fer all ye pirates at th‘ Tybee Island
Pirate Fest, a parade, music, drinkin‘, fireworks,
‘n fun children‘s activities, a pettin‘ zoo, delicious
eats, ‘n so much more!
But beware you scurvy cur, if ye don‘t watch out,
ye may be swabbin‘ the decks to pay yer bar
tab ‘n ye may be walkin‘ like ye have a peg leg
at the end of the day. We‘ve put together a little
survival guide for ye to make sure ye don‘t spend
all yer doubloons ‘n this experience be all ‘bout
adventures ‘n fun rather than pain ‘n discomfort.
Here is a list of 10 helpful hints that will make
you safe and happy during the 14th Annual Tybee
Island Pirate Fest!
1. DON’T BREAK THE BANK
Yes, there is plenty to do, see, and purchase at The
Tybee Island Pirate Fest but it’s never fun to have
post festival regrets when you get your monthly bank
statement. It is always a good idea to bring as much
cash are you are comfortable spending and to leave
the ATM card at home. Over the festival weekend you
will have several chances to buy jewelry, costumes,
art, and so much more directly from the creators.
This is always a lot of fun but it is also very easy to
succumb to impulse buys. By having a set budget,
you will be more discriminate in your purchases and
feel much better about your checking account come
Monday morning.
2. BRING SOME COMFORTABLE SHOES
I know the spike heel Pirate Boots look incredibly
sexy but how good do you think they are going to
feel after a couple hours of walking? Don’t forget to
slip a pair of flip flops into your satchel if you want to
make through the evening festivities! There are some
incredible bands this year and you know you will want
to rock it out during the shows, uncomfortable foot
wear will kill those dreams fast. Be prepared!
3. HYDRATE
For some reason people always get thirsty during the
Pirate Fest Weekend and there are always plenty of
beer vendors ready to quench that thirst. Drinking is
fun when you are dressed like a pirate but don’t go
overboard. Remember to drink water. In fact, put a
couple of bottles in your bag so they’ll be ready for
easy access.
4. SUNSCREEN
I know it is October, but if you will be celebrating
during the day and it is nice and sunny, wear
sunscreen on your exposed skin. You will get burned.
This is a fact.
5. PORT-O-POTTIES
These are a necessary evil. Search for the ones
furthest away from the entrance because they are the
ones that get used the least. Also, maybe bring some
toilet paper in your bag and some hand sanitizer. If
you are lady, hone up on your hovering skills.
6. CHILDREN
The Tybee Island Pirate Fest is so much fun for kids.
There are all types of activities that they are going
to love. However, the later it gets, the more rowdy
grown up
7. KEEP AN OPEN MIND
The Tybee Island Pirate Fest is a chance to lose
the cynicism that makes regular life kind of boring at
times. Here is an opportunity to dress up like a Pirate
and swagger around and swill rum while the sun’s
out! Have fun, let go, and don’t be afraid to look silly.
Revel in this chance to be around other eccentric
people and have a blast!
Smooth sailin‘ me
buckos, see ye at
th‘ Festival.
Arrgh!
Smooth sailing my friends, see you at the Festival.
BaBrneadclalem Bill
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