Reducing Seasonal Marital Stress
San Antonio Marriage Initiative Equips Leaders
BY AMY MORGAN
WRITER
The founder of San Antonio
Marriage Initiative, (SAMI) Carl Caton,
isn’t a marriage therapist, nor does
he run a counseling center; however,
his ministry is quietly changing hearts
across San
Antonio – aiming
to transform the
community by
supporting
marriage.
“Marriage is
contagious,”
Caton said.
“When the norm
is ‘the grass is
greener if you
water it,’ it
changes the
culture of the city.
We want to bring
a sense of hope.
The divorce rate
in San Antonio
has dropped 23
percent in the
past nine years.”
And lest the
decline be
attributed to fewer people marrying, he
added that the marriage rate in San
Antonio is increasing – with 2017 an
all-time high for marriages.
“I am passionate about marriage,”
said Caton, who has been married to
his high school sweetheart for 35 years.
“We’ve met so many couples who have
seen incredible breakthroughs in their
marriage,” their experiences led Caton
to form SAMI and gives him words of
wisdom when stresses of the holiday
season stretch some marriages to the
breaking point.
The day kids return to school in
January is the number one day people
make that first call to pursue divorce.
“It really breaks my heart,” Caton
said. Couples on the edge see the
holidays as a make or break it point.
Unmet expectations and challenges of
the season magnify underlying struggles.
Many hold out until after Christmas,
and they – often the woman –
have just had it. Divorce filings begin
filing in January, and the divorce rate
peaks in March every year.
Caton noted several areas of tension
and provided ideas to counter the
pressure. Overspending can lead to
arguments, debt and buyer’s remorse,
with finances becoming a big issue
come January. Caton recommended
talking through expectations of gift
giving in advance.
Others struggle with
family conflict.
Communication and
agreeing on healthy
boundaries help, he
said, and mentioned
Henry Cloud’s Boundaries
book as a resource.
“It’s not important
that you think alike as
much as you think
together,” he said.
“Everyone has different
ideas about Christmas
traditions.”
“ What’s good for
marriage is
ultimately good for
our community.
It’s not important
that you think alike
as much as you
think together.”
Carl Caton, founder - SAMI
Making time for physical and
emotional intimacy between
spouses can go a long way toward
staying connected during the holidays.
“Let’s be intentional this holiday
season to look at our calendar and
make some extra room for our
marriage so we are not so stressed,” he
said. “Let’s change some habits so we
are not glued to our phones and
devices. We can resolve to rely less on
social media and watch a few fewer
sports games. Then put things on the
calendar that are enriching to the
relationship, so you can enjoy your
marriage during the holiday season.
“ I have served with Carl Caton,
the leader of the San Antonio
Marriage Initiative, for the past
several years. He is one of the
brightest, most gifted, and spiritually
mature leaders I’ve ever
had the privilege to work with.
He and his wife have an extraordinarily
healthy relationship, and
he has a deep desire for every
marriage to be strengthened or
restored. The SA Marriage Initiative
supports the role players on
the front lines who champion
biblical marriage
to make an
eternal
impact on the
families in our
community.“S
cott Barr, Steward of
Southwest Exteriors
The Look You Love Coming Home To
12 www.saBeacon.com November 2018
/www.saBeacon.com