Gay Up the Holidays
JEREMY W I L L I A M S
There are a lot of holiday traditions out there. Some are religious in
nature and date back thousands of years, like nativity scenes and
menorahs. Some are relatively new and annoy sane people like Elf on
the Shelf and FOX News declaring there’s a “War on Christmas.”
Regardless of the traditions you
follow I think we can all agree that, for
the most part, they basic.
Don’t you worry though! We are here
to help by offering a few tips on taking
those same ol’ drab traditions and
getting them fab-u-lous.
Holidays are supposed to be fun. So
whatever you are doing this yuletide
season remember what Mel Brooks
said, “Keep it light, keep it bright,
keep it gay!”
RAINBOWS
If you want to pump up a holiday
tradition, the best way to do that is to
merge it with lots of color. There’s a
reason the rainbow is the symbol of our
people. Think Pride fl ag when you are
decorating your tree.
Instead of buying Christmas balls in
one or two colors, buy them in smaller
quantities of the six rainbow colors. Top
it off with a drag queen instead of the
traditional star or angel.
If you celebrate Hanukkah, bring the
Pride fl ag into the menorah with the
colors of your candles.
In the yard, throw a rainbow
fl ag in the hand of Frosty or Santa
and let your neighbors know you
holiday with Pride.
SAME-SEX COUPLING
Speaking of getting your lawn
holiday ready, why stick to the
traditional seasonal pairing? Show your
neighbors how progressive you are and
instead of Mr. and Mrs. Claus, get two
Santa’s or two Mrs. Claus’. Show that
ultra-conservative neighbor love is love.
If you have a nativity scene on your
mantel, swap out Joseph for two Mary’s.
Bring the same idea to making
a gingerbread house. Fill it with
gingerbread men and hang a disco ball
on it to make a gingerbread gay bar, or
build an all-gender bathroom inside
to show your gingerbread house is for
everyone. The possibilities are endless.
ENTERTAINMENT
Over the years a lot of movies and
books have become holiday traditions in
many homes. Unfortunately, not many
of them feature LGBTQ characters.
Until the Hallmark Channel starts
to diversify its holiday movie line-up,
you may need to turn to one of your
streaming services for help. Instead of
settling in and watching “A Christmas
Carol,” try “The Family Stone.” Seeing
Diane Keaton gush over her gay son is
more fun than seeing Scrooge visited by
three ghosts.
When you grab a holiday classic to
read to the kids before bedtime, try
grabbing “Santa’s Husband” by Daniel
Kibblesmith instead of “The Night
Before Christmas.” Instead of dealing
with questions about what a kerchief
is, you can tell your kids the tale of how
Santa and his husband love each other
very much. Oh, and Santa is black in
this story, take that Megyn Kelly.
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