“ The ultimate goal of this support is that
child placement doesn’t break down. We want zero
failed adoptions, zero failed placements,” Lord said.
“ We are trying to stop the bleeding people
can’t see from the outside.”
Filling Critical Need for Adoption & Foster Families
BY AMY MORGAN
WRITER
It’s a rarely discussed secret in the
adoption and foster community – not
every “forever home” actually lasts
forever. Unfortunately for all involved,
sometimes the reality of dealing with
the wounds and associated behaviors
of an adopted or foster child becomes
too much for a family to handle. Love
alone is not always enough. Good
intentions backfire, the adoption
dissolves, the foster child is relinquished.
Once again the least and lost
are abandoned, re-traumatizing a child
already scarred by abuse or neglect.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
Chosen Care ministry was started a
decade ago to throw a lifeline to
adoptive, foster and kinship families to
keep crisis from escalating.
Chosen Care started out offering
adoption assistance for families, but
identified a much greater need. They
noticed a disturbing trend of adoptive
parents dissolving placements and
foster parents quitting because they
were unable to cope with their
children’s behavior issues.
“We asked the hard question of how
can we serve families better, because the
current status is not ok,” said Founder
and Executive Director Jenni Lord.
Lord grew up with a foster brother
who was eventually adopted. She saw
first hand how extraordinarily
challenging it was to navigate through
emotional pain tied to the past.
She realized parents needed greater
support to help children heal from the
trauma of their previous family
experience and interact in positive,
healthy ways.
“Our objective is strengthening the
families who say, ‘yes’ and helping
children heal from trauma,” she said.
Trauma affects the brain neurologically
and developmentally, Lord said,
citing research being done by
Dr. Karyn Purvis at Texas Christian
University’s Institute of Child Development.
Childhood trauma causes nerves
in the brain to form damaged
pathways. Because an abused child’s
experience with
relationships has
not been healthy,
their brain did not
develop healthy
connections.
A result: an
over-the-top fight
or flight response
to a seemingly
innocuous request.
Bedtime, bath time,
homework can
spark a meltdown
that does not
respond to normal
parenting practices.
No family who has
utilized Chosen Care’s
services for at least
six months has quit
their placement.
A Chosen family.
“Traditional discipline is not effective
and can actually be counter-productive
with a traumatized child.” If a
child has been harmed in relationship,
they don’t know how to form a healthy,
secure attachment,” Lord said. “Trust
has been violated by the person who
was supposed to love, support and care
for them.”
Children who have been traumatized
have damaged brains. But, the
good news is the brain has plasticity.
The past 15 years have seen great
advancements in understanding the
effect and healing of trauma in the
brain, Lord added. With deliberation,
new connections can be made in the
“ I was raised in a family that believed in giving
back sacrificially to the community we lived in.
I was fortunate to see the fruits of these labors
grow from the seeds we planted as a family.
Giving back, paying it forward, putting the
needs of others before self are
important things to do, not
just to say.”
John Raimondo, D.C. CEO Pulmonair
12 www.saBeacon.com December 2018
/www.saBeacon.com