Commitment
More romantic than flowers
BY AMY MORGAN
W R I T E R
February is Valentine’s month, and
our culture tells us romance should be
in the air. For some, the holiday is a
welcome occasion to celebrate with
gifts, flowers or candlelight dinners.
But do those traditional gestures
really touch hearts, or do they just
create unrealistic expectations?
And what about couples for whom
Valentine’s Day triggers sadness or
despair? If a marriage is going
through a rough patch, a holiday
touting the love that is lacking only
adds pressure to an overstressed
relationship.
Carl Caton, the founder of the San
Antonio Marriage Initiative (SAMI), has
been working since 2009 to serve the
needs of church-based marriage ministry
leaders (mostly devoted lay couples)
and also pastors,
church staff and
counselors. His
experience in
marriage ministry
shapes his opinion
of the Valentine
season. What he
finds most romantic
is not the
Carl Caton, founder of
the San Antonio Marriage
Initiative (SAMI)
Hallmark movie
setting, but the tenderness of a couple
who has learned to love in a way that
truly reaches each other’s hearts. Carl
has had first-hand experience with this
after being married to his high school
sweetheart, Kelli, for 35 years.
According to Carl, research has
shown the single biggest indicator of
the happiest marriages is commitment.
Commitment to each other and
commitment to God.
“Every couple has a rough patch in
their marriage. It might be a medical
challenge, a difference in parenting
styles, even infidelity,” Carl says. “These
don’t have to be the
death knell – a lot of
couples grow
through them.
There are great
stories that too
often we don’t tell.”
He refers to information
from
best-selling author
Shaunti Feldhahn,
who reported statistical
findings from
thousands of
“ The more we
come together
to advance
God’s kingdom
and advance
marriage,
the better we
all are.”
– Sue Huggler
couples in her 2014 book, “The Good
News About Marriage.” She found that
80 percent of couples who had worked
through challenges in their marriage —
even those who were on the brink of
divorce — considered themselves very
happy five years later.
One of Carl’s goals at SAMI is to get
the word out that marriages are in fact
thriving and to normalize the reality
that couples need support and help
when they hit the inevitable valley. Carl
notes he sees a crisis of hope in
4 www.saBeacon.com February 2019
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