Survivin’ Pirate Fest
by: Scurvy McGillywhiskers
Welcome aboard a weekend that be anythin‘ but
ordinary, filled wit merriment, spiced grog, ‘n hot
wenches stuffed in tiny corsets!! Tis be a place
whar imagination be free to take flight, magic may
exist once again, ‘n ye can forget reality fer a
few short days or hours dependin‘ on how much
a ruckas ye can handle. Thar be somethin‘ fer
all ye pirates at th‘ Tybee Island Pirate Fest, a
parade, music, drinkin‘, fireworks, ‘n fun children‘s
activities, a pettin‘ zoo, delicious eats, ‘n so much
more!
But beware you scurvy cur, if ye don‘t watch out,
ye may be swabbin‘ the decks to pay yer bar
tab ‘n ye may be walkin‘ like ye have a peg leg
at the end of the day. We‘ve put together a little
survival guide for ye to make sure ye don‘t spend
all yer doubloons ‘n this experience be all ‘bout
adventures ‘n fun rather than pain ‘n discomfort.
Here is a list of 10 helpful hints that will make
you safe and happy during the 15th Annual Tybee
Island Pirate Fest!
1. DON’T BREAK THE BANK
Yes, there is plenty to do, see, and purchase at The
Tybee Island Pirate Fest but it’s never fun to have
post festival regrets when you get your monthly bank
statement. It is always a good idea to bring as much
cash are you are comfortable spending and to leave the
ATM card at home. Over the festival weekend you will
have several chances to buy jewelry, costumes, art,
and so much more directly from the creators. This is
always a lot of fun but it is also very easy to succumb to
impulse buys. By having a set budget, you will be more
discriminate in your purchases and feel much better
about your checking account come Monday morning.
2. BRING SOME COMFORTABLE SHOES
I know the spike heel Pirate Boots look incredibly sexy
but how good do you think they are going to feel after
a couple hours of walking? Don’t forget to slip a pair of
flip flops into your satchel if you want to make through
the evening festivities! There are some incredible bands
this year and you know you will want to rock it out
during the shows, uncomfortable foot wear will kill those
dreams fast. Be prepared!
3. HYDRATE
For some reason people always get thirsty during the
Pirate Fest Weekend and there are always plenty of
beer vendors ready to quench that thirst. Drinking is
fun when you are dressed like a pirate but don’t go
overboard. Remember to drink water. In fact, put a
couple of bottles in your bag so they’ll be ready for
easy access.
4. SUNSCREEN
I know it is October, but if you will be celebrating during
the day and it is nice and sunny, wear sunscreen on
your exposed skin. You will get burned. This is a fact.
5. PORT-O-POTTIES
These are a necessary evil. Search for the ones furthest
away from the entrance because they are the ones that
get used the least. Also, maybe bring some toilet paper
in your bag and some hand sanitizer. If you are lady,
hone up on your hovering skills.
6. CHILDREN
The Tybee Island Pirate Fest is so much fun for kids.
There are all types of activities that they are going to
love. However, the later it gets, the more rowdy the
grown ups.
7. KEEP AN OPEN MIND
The Tybee Island Pirate Fest is a chance to lose the
cynicism that makes regular life kind of boring at times.
Here is an opportunity to dress up like a Pirate and
swagger around and swill rum while the sun’s out! Have
fun, let go, and don’t be afraid to look silly. Revel in
this chance to be around other eccentric people and
have a blast!
Smooth sailin‘ me
buckos, see ye at
th‘ Festival.
Arrgh!
Smooth sailing my friends, see you at the Festival.
BaBrneadclalem Bill
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