\\ FEATURE \\From a Mess to
BY FRANKIE LANE
This time of year always gets me a bit choked up.
Five years ago almost to the date, I remember getting a
phone call that would change my life forever…
It started at my mother’s house. My daughters were
both celebrating their birthdays, and I was happy to be
with them as they enjoyed the day together. Everything
was perfect, except for the incessant ringing of my phone
from a number I didn’t care for or recognise. With
seared into my mind forever. “It’s your Dad, he’s been
rushed to the hospital. It doesn’t look good.” I was in
lose one of the most important people in my life.
It was twenty-four hours later that I lost him, incapable
of seeing him again or saying goodbye. Days turned to
months as I tried to cope with the realisation that I would
never be able to talk to my father ever again. The pain
was immense, something that I would never wish on
anyone, but it didn’t stop there. Just over four months later,
I watched as my younger sister was laid to rest, the result
of a car accident that had left her with heart problems for
years. I was devastated. My life had completely turned on its
head. Everything inside me warped into a sickly combination
of numbness and pain. Talk about about loss; I had singlehandedly
suffered the two biggest losses of my life, in what
felt like an eternity. My dad was my biggest fan, and my sister
was supposed to outlive us all. It was like a cruel and unusual
punishment, one that had more to offer.
At the time, I owned and operated two businesses here in
Zephyrhills. I could barely take care of myself, let alone either
company, or any of my employees. Quickly, I spiralled, watching
as both my businesses suffered and tore themselves apart. People
would call me a fraud and a loser wherever I went. I owed so
much money, I sold everything I could to pay off my debts. I
was struggling; failure after failure seemed to pile up fast, and
no one was willing to give me the time of day to help. My life
was a complete mess, rid of all the things that were important to
me. It felt as if they had been taken by some evil entity that had
devoted itself to ruining me and everything I cared for. I blamed
everyone; burning bridges everywhere I went and refusing to
make good with myself or my mistakes.
All of this came to a head when I found myself sleeping in
my car with no place to go. It was then that I came to the
realisation that something needed to change. No, it wasn’t just
something, it was one thing that would change everything:
and nail for the next six months to recreate myself, renew my
drive my car to the nearest rest area on the interstate, pull my
seat down and try to sleep. The surrounding noise from passing
start listening to music and covering my windows to block out
the environment I was forced to endure. Each morning, I would
wake up sweaty and disoriented, interrupted by the heat of the
sun as it blazed through the back glass of my car, the only alarm
clock I had. Everyday I would drive around, looking for any
opportunity that may change the situation I was in. Then, as the
to my makeshift home to start all over again. The only way I saw
forward was to talk myself out of the depression that threatened
to consume me, as I faced the reality that the life I was living was
no life at all.
Still each day I pushed myself, literally brushing myself off
so the dirt and the lint from my car didn’t stick to my clothes,
and continued my search for anything that would give me hope.
Then, I found it. My breakthrough came in a form I never
expected. He was sitting across the restaurant I was at, wearing
a solar shirt, when I noticed him. It took me no time at all to
ZEPHYRHILLS TODAY | October 10 / November 2018