Appreciating Life
Before and After the Pandemic
On or about March 12, the world changed. Schools
closed, trains halted, offices went remote, and millions
of lives were changed. Nearly 1.5 million people
have been affected by this virus, and tens of thousands
of lives have been lost. Looking back, our lives will forever
be remembered in two phases – before and after.
So far, I’m one of the lucky ones. I’ve had the luxury to
stay home with my daughter and husband during this time
and appreciate things I never did until now. I feel guilty
even admitting that such a horrible thing had a positive
outcome on my life, but it has in some way.
Before, I seldom made time to reflect. I was always too
busy – busy getting settled into a new house, new job and
busy getting over two ectopic pregnancies. One of those ectopic
pregnancies ended in a rupture in my fallopian tube,
landed me in emergency surgery and wreaked havoc on my
body. Both pregnancies resulted in the removal of both of
my fallopian tubes. The ruptured one caused blood clots
throughout my abdomen, and those clots had attached
themselves to many of my major organs. Due to a complicated
adhesion near my bowel, the surgery was risky and
complicated. My doctor said I was lucky to be alive.
What followed surgery was months of crippling anxiety
and depression. Luckily, I had a great therapist, who diagnosed
me with PTSD and supported me in the months that followed. I
was also lucky enough to have supportive friends and families
who promised me one day, one day, it would be OK.
Today, things are definitely not OK. We are on the brink of the largest
Going for a walk with the sun shining and trees rustling overhead is an experience to be thoroughly
health crisis in my lifetime, and I’m worried about those I love. But, if
I’m being truthful, this horrific event has given me something beautiful I
didn’t have before – time to notice these things I was always too busy to
notice before:
Freedom. While we are the lucky ones who get to stay home,
there’s a freedom that has been lost. Freedom to gather with family and
friends, and freedom from worry. No longer will we ever take for granted
a day at the park, a child’s birthday party or sitting in a packed restaurant.
Family. I miss spending time with family and friends. I miss hugging
my parents, touching my niece’s artwork and braiding her hair. I
miss close talking! Never again will I take a hug for granted.
In the new normal, I have a deep appreciation for these simplest pleasures:
Birds chirping. I now wake up to the sound of birds chirping rather
than an alarm. It has become my favorite part of the day, when it has
only just begun. In this unprecedented time, nothing is dependable, except
the birds chirping at my window. That sort of reliability is everything.
A laugh. They say there are certain things that can never be taken
from you like your education or pride. I’d like to add humor to that.
The countless memes about quarantine life and America’s love affair
with Gov. Andrew Cuomo are the highlight of my day. I have enjoyed
few things as much as a good belly laugh. After two stomach surgeries,
laughing without holding your stomach with a pillow is a luxury I will
34 MAY 2020 | TheJournalNJ.com
BY CLAUDIA M. GREENHUT
appreciated in this period after the pandemic has subsided.
never take for granted!
My health. It seems ironic (and insensitive) to be appreciating my
health in a time when so many have lost theirs, but I do. I have never felt
so grateful to be alive. I’m able to go outside for a walk alongside my
daughter, taking her “baby” for a walk. Life doesn’t get better than that.
The sun. The sun has a funny way of bringing people together. I
see kids on their bikes, families on walks and neighbors gardening. The
sun has given us exactly what we need during this time, a connection to
others and a feeling that we are not alone.
Bravery. I have seen bravery I didn’t know existed in my friend,
Patricia, who is an ER nurse and battling this virus every day on the frontlines.
She and millions of healthcare workers risk their lives for the lives
of strangers. Saying thank you seems inadequate.
Time. I savor every minute I’ve been able to spend with my daughter
and husband over the last month. We go for walks, and we have dinner
together, something we rarely did on weekdays before. Losing track
of time over the last few weeks has been one of the greatest gifts of my
lifetime.
Here I am ten months after a life-altering event, two fallopian tubes
down, and in the midst of largest health crisis in my time. I’m not quite
sure when things will be OK again, but one thing I do know is that I will
never take for granted a sunny day, a hug from a friend or a belly-crippling
laugh. These are the things I was too busy to appreciate before, and
I will never be too busy to notice them again.
/TheJournalNJ.com