Mother of Special Needs Children
Discusses Life During Quarantine
Mary Kate Sparks is a homemaker, wife and mother to three adult
boys – two of whom have autism. Everyday life is not always
easy for her, having to address the needs of her sons. Add
self-isolation/quarantine to the situation, and her responsibilities take
on a different challenge.
“To tell you the truth, special needs families self-isolate all the
time,” she said candidly. “We are used to not going to restaurants or
attending family functions. It is often easier to just stay home.”
Her biggest concern during this pandemic is that her two sons can
no longer attend their school and day programs, which is paramount
for their well-being as well as her own.
“They have a full life when they attend these programs,” she said.
“They get out into the community, they learn social skills and have fun
being with their peers. Now my day revolves around their needs versus
mine – being able to take my daily walk, do my housework, or just have
me time to rejuvenate myself so I can be my best for them.”
Fortunately, the school staff checks in to assure all is going well for
one son, but for the son who is no longer in school, Sparks said, “It’s just
me.”
Prior to COVID-19, Sparks and her boys would visit numerous
beaches, parks and nature reserves all around the county. Great Adventure
was their recreational destination during the warmer months and
a top favorite for her boys. Given the recent closure of many public plac-
38 MAY 2020 | TheJournalNJ.com
BY DEIRDRE FLANAGAN WARD
NEIGHBOR
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es, her options have become increasingly limited.
Her typical day now has turned into what she calls the “never-ending
weekend.”
“With no school or day programs, every day is the weekend to them,”
she said. “They don't understand what is going on. We wake up each
morning and have breakfast. I shower and get dressed, and then I shower
and dress them both. We then go for a car ride and get take-out at one of
the fast food restaurants – something we used to do every weekend, but
now it's every day. Each day is the exact same as the day before.”
She said it’s important for families with special needs children to
maintain a routine. Since her sons can no longer enjoy their regular outdoor
excursions, they rely on car rides, for which she is grateful.
“I believe it relaxes them and gets them out of the house which is
important since they can never sit in for long periods of time,” she said.
With no definitive date given to when things will return to normal,
Sparks is taking it day by day, one car ride at a time, and ironically, thinks
the boys are actually enjoying their “forever weekends.” But for her,
as soon as this pandemic passes, she plans on taking a long walk – by
herself.
Three things Sparks has to say about
the coronavirus and her experience:
1. Nobody really knows what is going to happen from
day-to-day. Just enjoy the moment.
2. Keeping a spotless house is not so important.
3. Now people know what it’s like to be a special
needs parent. We isolate all the time.
/TheJournalNJ.com