BoTox or NoTox
By Alaina Loughridge
TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | OCT 2020 37
So, one day while I was working at the Wind Rose, Gage came in exclaiming the joys and wonders of Botox. Betsey
was there too and we were instantly fascinated! Tell us more! According to Gage, he and Jen Knox went and were
delighted in their results. Both had forehead wrinkles they wanted to get rid of and both were extremely happy with
the results.
Well, Betsey looked at me and I looked at her and the next thing I knew we were in the parking lot of Savannah
Plastic Surgery. Amanda Walters was there for some forehead wrinkle stopper too and Kasey Jordan was there as our
“Emotional Support Human,” (which by the by, if you ever need one, call her - she’s a great hand holder).
I was there more for a story (the things I do for this magazine), but the closer I got to looking in the mirror, the more
I realized I have some issues: There is a long squiggle in the middle of my forehead that is at least an inch long and
it’s my “Oh my sweet baby Jesus what have you done?” look that has imbedded itself permanently in my nog. Then,
upon closer inspection (not really, as you can see this crevasse from across the damn room), I have a trench running
between my eyes that is my “WTFFFF you dumb noun adjective article animal” look. Apparently, that’s my go-to look
as this wrinkle has been there for a minute.
This intrepid group of women hadn’t even had a cocktail yet, but we went in with fear in our hearts. The biggest
one for me personally was I did not want to come out looking like Kenny Rogers and/or Priscilla Presley in that order.
Betsey went in first with Kasey holding her hand. I was called next and held my own hands. Amanda followed shortly
thereafter.
Dr. Carl B. Pearl was our guy and even though he is extremely young (to my old geriatric eyeballs), he has a great
personality and clearly knows what he is doing. Dr. Pearl started off great by saying he really didn’t think I needed
any work done (bless your heart my child) and I told him I was going to write a story about him, so don’t screw up my
already charmed face. LOL!! He started with the long horizontal squiggle on my forehead and I’m not going to even lie:
When I saw that needle coming at me, I almost threw up, but instead, clamped my eyeballs shut and started talking
nonsense to chatter my way through it. I was injected about four times. It wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t terrible. This is
coming from someone who has never had a tattoo, so keep that in mind. It was over in less than three minutes. When
I checked the mirror after, you couldn’t even tell anything had been done at all. I went to the lobby to check on my
girls … they weren’t there.
Betsey came out shortly after me. It took her longer as she had more wrinkles. You know, she is older than I am by
four years, so that’s four years of wrinkles more than me.
Amanda took forever! We were wondering what in hell was going on. We were also extremely thirsty. Turns out,
Amanda decided to get her forehead done as well as her lips. When she came out with numb lips and her emotional
support human came out with numb lips too, we almost fell over laughing. Kasey couldn’t keep her hands to herself
and decided she wanted to see if this numb thing actually worked and swiped some. The moral of this story, my
children, is that y’all need to keep your hands to yourself. Off to Cocktail Land and perusing each other to see if we
were turning into Kenny Rogers.
Well, it turns out, this goo takes a minute to get going. No one saw any real benefits for a week or more (and it lasts
from four to six months). My first reality check was when my horizontal hokey pokey vanished. The vertical trench
took a minute longer. The problem is it makes your eyebrows look all gnar gnar. My resting bitch face looks like I’m
interested in something now, but I’m not. For a second there I thought it actually fixed my lazy eye, but in retrospect
just made me look like I was giving everyone the eye. The wrinkles are gone though. I will not be going back as it’s
just not for me.
In checking in with Betsey, she looks fantastic, but had to go back in for a touch up on the edge of her brows as
they looked a bit off. She now has a great resting bitch face and states that she would totally go back again, but not
for a minute to see the results.
Amanda also has a great looking forehead. The lips took a bit longer and were puffy and bruised for a long minute.
The good news is she still has them. It did take some time, but now she’s very happy with her lips. Amanda states
she is going to wait a minute before she would be willing to go back. The one most eager to go back is Kasey. Must
have been the lip numbing!!!
The end result is this: Is Botox for you? It’s hard to say, as it affected all three of us differently. My advice to y’all
is just do your research. Make sure you actually have a wrinkle. Watch your eyebrows. Don’t become Kenny Rogers.