By Gary Barg
Reading about the times we were all together in conference
rooms across the nation, learning from one another at the
Fearless Caregiver Conferences seems like a flashback from
a time long ago. It certainly does seem a lifetime ago, but
I’d rather think of it as an inspirational flashforward to
the time we can once again share the day together at the
events. Please enjoy the following pages as a reminder of
the times we had and will have one again - hopefully sooner
rather than later.
On Becoming a Fearless Caregiver
I watched as she strode across the large banquet hall. She
was on a mission to reach her destination and would not be
deterred. I was afraid that her destination was me. The year
was 2005 and I was standing in the middle of a room filled
with family caregivers at a Fearless Caregiver Conference.
This event was held in our hometown of Fort Lauderdale
where the first event was held in 1998.
To me, the linchpin of our events is always the Expert
Question and Answer sessions where family caregivers
can ask questions of leading national and local experts. I
canvass the audience with a wireless microphone so the
attendees can ask their questions. Frankly, it is most fun
for me when a question is asked that the panel could not
answer. I like to call this the “Stump the Panel” moment.
Not to embarrass our experts, but because I know that the
other group of experts will be up to the task and answer
with many appropriate and innovate responses. The experts
I refer to, of course, are the family caregivers. The main
reason for the exercise of answering audience questions in
the first place, is to help illustrate that knowledge is not a
one-way street, they (or other caregivers like them) already
had more answers than they could have imagined before
the questions started flowing in the session.
26 TODAY’S CAREGIVER MAGAZINE • CAREGIVER.COM
After the aforementioned attendee reached me,
she whispered in my ear, as I held the microphone in
front of another caregiver about to ask a question.
She said: “I have a question that is too stupid for me
to ask in public and so I want you to ask it for me.”
Gee, thanks. Being the kind caregiver I am and her
humble host for the day, I pointed the microphone
in her direction and announced,” This nice lady has a
question to ask.” My response had nothing to do with
cruelty. In fact, I was sure that whatever question this
caregiver would ask, it would be poignant, appropriate and
the furthest thing from stupid. I will always remember what
happened next. The attorney on the panel, slammed the
table and said; “I’ve been waiting all morning for someone
to ask that question.” The caregiver glided back to her seat
on a cushion of air.
In the many years that we have been hosting the Fearless
Caregiver Conferences and in the thousands of emails I have
received from family caregivers since launching Today’s
Caregiver magazine and caregiver.com, I have never
received a silly or inappropriate question from a family
caregiver. Never. This brings us to the first rule of Fearless
Caregiving: Any question you have as a family caregiver is
important and deserves to be answered quickly, concisely
and with the respect you deserve as the CEO of Caring for
Your Loved One, Inc.
FEARLESS CAREGIVER CONFERENCE
Getting BACK
to Days of Sharing
WISDOM
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