where it is extremely busy such as at
the time of burial to avoid mixing with
men.
Question: I have heard that it is wrong
for the family of the deceased to make
food arrangements for people attending
the burial. Is this correct?
Answer: Many ‘ulama have written that
it is reprehensible for the family of the
deceased to arrange food and invite
people of the community to a meal.
There are a few reasons for this:
1) The Messenger s once instructed
the companions to arrange meals
for the family of the deceased. Consider
the following:
‘Abdullah ibn Ja’far g narrates that
when the news of the demise of his father
reached the Messenger of Allah s,
the Messenger of Allah instructed the
companions, “Make food for the family
of Ja’far g as a calamity has befallen
them which would keep them occupied”
(Abu Dawud).
By expecting the family of the deceased
to cater for others during their
time of difficulty, not only would it add
to their burden, but would also oppose
what the Messenger of Allah s advised.
2) In many cultures, such a meal or
invite has become expected to an
extent that even if the family of the
deceased cannot afford it, they are
pressured to do so.
However, if there is a need to make
food arrangements due to relatives and
friends coming from far, it would be
better for a person outside of the family
of the deceased to make such arrangements.
Doing so would help the family
of the deceased, and be in accordance
with the guidance of the Messenger s
as mentioned in the hadith above.
Question: We are looking into purchasing
a tombstone to mark the grave of
our late father. Would this be permissible,
and if so, are there restrictions
regarding it?
Answer: It is permissible to mark the
grave with a discrete tombstone for
the purpose of recognizing and maintaining
the grave. When making this
decision it should be kept in mind
that all unnecessary adornment must
be avoided. Furthermore, one should
avoid having the name of Allah or
verses of the Qur’an engraved to avoid
them being trampled on or disrespected.
Question: Due to the pandemic restrictions,
janaza prayer is limited to 25
people in our city. I heard from someone
that two janaza prayers can be held
if the wali of the deceased prays in the
last salah. Is this a correct way to ensure
that all of the family and friends of the
deceased are able to join the funeral
prayers in these unprecedented times?
Answer: It is not correct for multiple
congregations to be held for the janaza
prayer. While it is the right of the wali
to lead a janaza prayer if it was carried
out without him. This is on the condition
that the first congregation was held
without his knowledge or consent. If
the prayer is held with explicit or implicit
consent of the wali, it will not be
permissible to hold a second congregation
in spite of the wali being absent. In
regard to the scenario outlined in the
query, the wali’s knowledge of the first
congregation taking place will be considered
his implicit permission, thus
making all subsequent congregations
invalid. Our advice is that in such a
scenario the janaza prayer should be
held with 25 of the deceased’s close relatives
and those who are unable to join
can join in by making du‘a of forgiveness
and performing virtuous deeds on
behalf of the deceased.
Question: In the previous edition of the
al-Madinah magazine, you mentioned
that parents should be equal when gifting
their children. Is this an obligation
or preferable? Also, are there any situations
where it would be permissible or
appropriate to give a gift to one child
and not the other?
Answer: In principle, it is desirable for
parents to show equality among children
when giving gifts. Unnecessarily
showing favoritism to one child over
the other would be disliked. However,
there is no harm in giving extra gifts to
one child if the purpose is to recognize
a special virtue or achievement of the
child or due to him or her being more
in need. Such a gift should be given in
such a manner that the other children
do not feel hurt. This exception can be
deduced from the practice of the companions.
Consider the following:
‘Ayesha j narrates, “My father, Abu
Bakr, gifted me palm trees from his
property in Ghaba. When he was dying,
he said, “By Allah, my dear daughter,
there is no one I would want to be
wealthier after I die than you. There is
no one more difficult for me to see in
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