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PARENTING
TIPS for AGES
10
3 Surviving
the Elementary
Years
TIPTI
10-1100 6-1 6
By Kimberly Blaker
At every stage of development, parents face
new challenges, and the elementary school
years are no exception. Here are some tips
to help you through this adventuresome
but trying stage.
1. Tattletails. Does your child tattle
every time a sibling or playmate breaks a rule?
Explain to your child the difference between tattling
and telling. Tattling is when another child breaks a
rule (or maybe there is no rule), and the action your
child is tattling about is relatively harmless. Telling,
on the other hand, is when another child is doing
something that could cause harm to oneself or
others. Make a rule that you don’t want to hear any
tattling, but that telling is okay and even necessary.
2. Lying. Every child tells a lie at some
point or another. Talk to your child about how lying
diminishes one’s ability to trust your child.
Explain how it can impact your child’s
relationships. Then, if you catch your child in a lie,
explain how your child’s future freedom and privileges
will be dependent on how well you can trust
your child.
3. Media overload. With the variety
of media available to kids, it’s difficult to know where
to draw the line. Invite your child to help you establish
rules about media use, such as total number of
hours per day your child can use media, how much of
that time can be spent on specific forms of media and
measures you’ll take if the rules are violated.
4. Chore wars. As your child grows, so
should your child’s responsibilities. During the early
elementary years, choose a small number of simple
chores. As they grow, increase the number or level
of difficulty. Set a regular schedule for each task and
offer daily or weekly rewards or an allowance.
5. Homework hassles. This is
a routine challenge for so many parents. Set up a
meeting with your child to discuss homework and
establish some rules together. Give your child a couple
of choices too, such as 30 minutes of free time or
media time before beginning homework. Avoid saving
homework for late in the evening though.
6. Name-calling & teasing.
Sometimes when kids call each other names, they’re
just playing. But if it’s one-sided, mean-spirited, or
the child on the receiving end seems hurt by it, it’s
usually best to intervene. Make it clear to the child
doing the teasing how hurtful the behavior is and it
isn’t acceptable.
7. The birds and the bees.
The question of ‘where do babies come from’ and
discussions of puberty can leave even the most
open-minded parents fumbling for words. During
the early elementary years, read to your child “Where
Did I Come From?” or another age-appropriate book.
By the late elementary years, discussions of puberty
and sex should be more complete so your child is fully
prepared for the changes that’ll take place. Also,
make sure your child is accurately informed about
sex because by late elementary some kids are already
talking about it among each other.
8. Def iance. As kids grow, they become
more independent – and with independence comes
defiance. Remember consistency is crucial to being
effective. Also, don’t argue. If your child tries to
debate you after you’ve already stated the issue
and laid down the consequence, calmly say you’ve
already made up your mind, and you’re not going
to discuss it any further. Then leave the room so
you won’t be tempted to argue or give in to your
child’s badgering.
HOO’s parenting