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IS IT JUST
TEEN BLUES?
WORDS: Manatee County School Social Workers & Psychologists
We often hear from our teens that they “feel depressed.” How can we, as parents, differentiate between our
teen experiencing typical teen blues versus having a clinical syndrome called Major Depressive Disorder?
Being with our children daily makes it difcult to see the subtle changes that may occur over time. It is hard to
take notice of the increasing time our teen may be spending alone in their room, or the weight they may have
gained or lost. The interest in activities, hobbies, and friends that may have lessened. Their inability to fall or stay
asleep, an increase in their sleeping, or the irritability and behavioral changes they may be demonstrating
at home and school.
These changes do not occur over night and may not be as evident to us unless we are looking
at the big picture. One or two of these changes may not raise a concern, however, we need
to be aware of the signs and be available to our teen. Teens are not always able to clarify
their emotions verbally - even if we take the initiative to ask: “How are you feeling?”
Teenagers generally express themselves through actions rather than through words and
feelings. A teen may respond to a parent’s question: “How was school today?” with “Fine”
as they slam their back pack on the kitchen counter and storm out of the room. We need to
be able to assess the teen’s behavior and not take their verbal statements at face value. We
also need to be aware of when to engage our teens in conversation, or when we need to give
them space and time.
Adolescence is also a time for “self-centeredness.” Teens are convinced that people are always looking,
judging, and making comparisons of them. Perhaps therefore, they have such inated opinions of their
own self-importance. This also is a time when a teen’s body is changing and growing. It is important to
help your teen through these times, and to realize their emotional distress is real even if it seems silly
and irrational to us.
Teens are also very concerned with their relationships and interactions with peer groups. Adolescence
is a time when a teen’s identity is being formulated. It is important that they feel comfortable within
a peer group, so that their individual identity may emerge.
Now that we have discussed some of the normal areas of behavior patterns for teens, let’s look at
red ag areas. Remember, it is not just one or two changes that cause concern, but a grouping of
indicators or stressors. We should be concerned if a teen is persistently irritable, sad or tearful;
shows an increase in isolative behavior or presents with a change in level of functioning at
school, decrease in grades, increase in truancy, and referrals. If a teen demonstrates major and
persistent changes in eating and/or sleeping patterns, complains of body aches, headaches or
stomachaches, parents should take note and take steps to intervene on their child’s behalf. If a
teenager mentions thoughts or demonstrates gestures toward self-harm, this clearly sends a red
ag for a parent to take notice and to seek outside evaluation and intervention immediately.
I was speaking with a 16-year-old young man recently who felt as though he was asking for help, but
no one listened to him. He said: “I left clues for my parents to see I had problems. I was depressed and
not eating, I was failing my classes in school, I was having trouble sleeping, I never went out with friends
and I stayed in my room all of the time.”
It seemed apparent to this young man that he was giving clear signals to his family of his need for help. The
severity of his distress was not, however, clear to his family. Fortunately, he was able to continue to demonstrate
his need for assistance which was acted upon by his parents, and interventions were sought.
Parents have the ultimate responsibility to protect their children and to keep them safe from harm. As our
children grow, the task becomes increasingly difcult. Could this be why we generate so many wrinkles and
gray hairs as our children grow through that tumultuous stage we call “adolescence”?
Let’s all take a deep breath. It is important to remember that the openness and non-judgmental attitude we share with our
teen will give them the ability to share their experiences and emotions with us - at least most of the time.