Learn to
Communicate
Growing Kids
and sixth grades. After retiring as a
juvenile court judge, my experiment
of single-day visits to each grade
revealed insights I’m sharing with
you in a series for EverythingBrevard.
My mission: Find out what motivated
youngsters to keep them on the
straight and narrow.
Fourth grade is when kids stop kissing their parents at
morning drop-off and dive out of their cars without
hesitancy or fear.
The girls have become
noticeably taller than
the boys. They have also
begun to groom — a
skill still unknown to the
boys. One girl may have
overdone it with makeup
and underdone the
length of her skirt.
By mid-day, I recognized
that fourth graders
have moved beyond
emotional absolutes.
The world is no longer
“yes” or “no.” Good
or bad. Happy or sad.
They now demonstrate
pride, intuition, sulking,
sincerity, and intimacy.
These are the building
blocks and a rehearsal
for the dramatics of their
teen years.
It is obvious that parents
should not effectively
govern this group with
the simple yeses or nos of
yesteryear. Explanations
are needed to obtain
compliance. They need
options, but more than
anything, they need
guidance and good
examples.
To parents of
fourth graders:
Take more time with
your discipline. Make
sure they understand
that your love is not
conditional, but there are
reasons behind why you
expect certain choices on
their part. Express your
love in creative ways. A
mere kiss will not do it.
A thoughtful gesture is
the language they now
understand.
In fifth grade, I found
the students to have a
wider range of voice
and mannerisms. They
are experimenting with
finding themselves and
looking to others for
ideas on how to deal with
their ever-expanding
world, both around and
within themselves. What
are these new feelings?
Should I smoke? Why
do I feel attracted to that
boy or girl sitting next
to me? I don’t have any
money; can I steal things
from the store?
To parents of
Help them find
themselves. Be prepared
to offer deeper answers
to unasked questions.
Otherwise, if you will
pardon the simplistic
analogy, their lives will
be much like a game of
Plinko. Their choices
will be a series of random
bounces down their path
of life.
I came to sixth grade
with the same escort
as a transfer student.
His fragile “new kid”
status was palpable.
He was scanned and
evaluated. His eyes
begged for approval.
He had no connections
but needed them
desperately. The teacher
allowed us to introduce
ourselves. He was from
Pennsylvania, and
another student familiar
with state nicknames,
said aloud, “Keystone.”
Several others echoed,
“Keystone, Keystone.”
He smiled.
And so he would be
Keystone, at least until
a new name came along,
probably ‘Stone.
To parents of
sixth graders:
By what subconscious or
overt labels do you interact
with your children?
Lazy? Hyper? Better yet,
how are they starting to
label themselves? Perhaps
you can interject some
positive ones into their
vocabulary. They will
thank you.
Larry Johnston grew up in Brevard County, where his
family lived on a boat during his high school years.
He has held a Merchant Marine captain’s license
and flight instructor and airline transport pilot rating.
He retired after 17 years as a circuit judge and now
writes and travels throughout the U.S. gathering
material with his wife in their motorhome.
EVERYTHING education
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