six months the virus had stopped
replicating in my DNA but I had
developed a connective tissue
disease from the blows to my
immune system over the two
years that I had seemingly an active
case of the virus. Subsequently,
I developed fibromyalgia.
My life became all about
chronic pain. Throughout my entire
body. At times it felt like a
thousand knives were piercing
my body. The weight of a light
blanket was so painful I slept uncovered.
I could no longer imagine
the day when I would get rid
of the pain. I had to wrap my
head around the idea that the
pain wasn’t going anywhere and
I must learn to manage it.
In the beginning I tried every
mainstream or holistic treatment.
When a terrifying reaction to
pain medication sent me to the
emergency room, I tossed the
pills in the toilet and started seeing
a chiropractor and having
weekly massages, while doing
acupuncture and sleeping on a
magnetic mattress! I walked on
an underwater treadmill to relieve
pressure on my painful
joints and strengthen my muscles.
I gave up all sweets and
went gluten free. “You may never
be your old self.” Said a pain
psychologist. His words angered
me and made me more determined
to control my pain and not
let it control me.
A few people criticized me for
being so consumed with my recovery,
but for the most part I
had a huge support system,
which is vitally important. And
because I went from a healthy
type a personality career woman
and mother of two so quickly to
so disabled, I never had to live
with the stigma chronic pain patients
endure when their pain
comes on gradually over a long
period of time, so invisibly.
By a stroke of luck of perhaps
fate, I found the most effective
treatment for my pain. An adorable
nine-pound red satin rabbit.
In the middle of the blizzard of
2001 in the northeast, my children
and I had a bit of cabin fever.
Being an avid skier in my
previous life without pain, driving
in an Armageddon was nothing
out of the ordinary, so off we
went to the pet store to get crickets
for our lizard. It was a family
emergency. We were out of her
lettuce as well. In the front window
of the pet store was a new
litter of adorable bunnies. The
next thing I knew a darling,
fuzzy bunny was wrapped up in
my arms and despite the frigid
weather, something in me began
to melt. It was as if I somehow
sensed all that we would come to
mean to each other in the years
ahead.
Bunny Boy quickly became a
beloved member of the family
and the third child I very much
wanted, but couldn’t have. Sadly,
before he turned only one
year old, Bunny Boy developed
an incurable jaw abscess and
simultaneously we found out he
had similar autoimmune disease
as me. What were the chances of
that?
I went into the same fighter mode
for Bunny Boy that I did for myself
and he underwent extensive
jaw surgery, which was very
risky for a rabbit. As prey animals,
their hearts are weak and
they succumb to anesthesia
quicker than other animals. They
also give up easily when they feel
pain or are frightened. But Bunny
Boy thrived and went on to become
the children’s mascots for
their sports teams, science fair
subjects and my best friend. Bunny
Boy was always able to sense
when I was in pain and he would
curl up in my lap or on my chest
to comfort me. At one point he
actually nudged the phone over
(Connued on page 16)
Internaonal Pain Foundaon—15