That most caregivers do not go on to develop PTSD
is a result of multiple factors, not the least of which
being the resiliency many find during crucial moments
in life. That almost all will experience PTCG is the result
of the natural stress response when faced with high
impact situations that rattle all areas of life. While
psychotherapy, supported by cutting edge techniques
and possibly medications, is the standard treatment for
PTSD, those experiencing PTCG are well-known for the
“where will I find time for that?” response when told to
practice self-care.
While professional treatment would be beneficial, in the
absence of profound dysfunction, more practical are
techniques that one can practice while going about the
busy-ness of caregiving. These include the following:
1. Don’t wait for someone to offer help, tell
people what you need. Too many caregivers take the
offer, “call if you need anything,” as an invitation to
a party they’d rather not attend. Critical moments
require stepping out of one’s comfort zone—throwing
up one’s hands and saying “I’m not waving at you, I’m
drowning over here!”
2. Put down the Caregiver’s Handbook and pick
up the latest novel and lose yourself in it. Reading about
all of the challenges ahead can easily re-traumatize and
move one from anxious moments to full-blown panic
attacks. Safety is the first rule of trauma recovery and
allowing the mind to move into imaginary worlds helps
protect it from overload.
3. Get “techy” with it. Old school caregivers had
to rely on professionals who were often over-worked
and under-paid. Today, there are countless websites
and apps that can bring experts into the home at the
speed of the internet.
4. Create a sacred space wherever you can.
Caregivers seldom have time to head off to spiritual
retreats, travel to the mountains for peace of mind
etc. Use the down moments while at the doctor’s
office with your loved one, the time spent driving
to appointments, the preparation of the next meal
as meditative moments by simply bringing your full
attention to what you are doing at the moment. Feel
free to support these moments with silent mantras,
prayers or simply recalling personal moments of joy.
5. Open yourself to the kindness of strangers.
Caregivers often find that family members are either
nowhere to be found or, sometimes worse, overly
critical of their efforts. Many helpful encounters come
out of nowhere and from people unknown. One
need not be spiritual to heed the advice to “be not
forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have
entertained angels unawares.”
Once the caregiver train leaves the station for territories
unknown, the one certainty is that the ride is going to be
filled with ups and downs, gain and loss, joy and sorrow.
When arising out of trauma, caregiving becomes a practice
in the awareness that one has been thrown off balance and
that a myriad of demands are drawing on energies, that while
heightened, may not be channeled in a positive direction.
Since decisions during the initial stages of caregiving can
have a profound impact on both the caregiver and the loved
one being cared for, it’s important that these energies
are managed in ways that support their enhancement and
staying power. Identifying when one is dealing with PTCG
is one way caregivers can practice the art of caregiving and
self-healing simultaneously.
Mike Verano is a licensed professional counselor, licensed
marriage and family therapist, certified employee assistance
professional and cancer survivor with over 30 years of
experience in the mental health field. Mike has had articles
published in national and international magazines on a
wide range of topics. He has assisted in the development of
employee wellness programs and is a nationally recognized
public speaker.
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