Spiritual
DISCOURSE
How to react as a victim of backbiting
By Mufti Taqi Usmani
Someone wrote to Hazrat Thanawi,
“If I come to know that someone
backbit me, I feel resentment toward
them” ( Anfas-e-esa pg. 150).
The writer was inquiring from Maulana
Thanawi about the feeling of resentment
and anger that he felt after
learning he was a victim of backbiting.
He wanted to know if it was correct to
feel that way or it needed remedy.
Maulana Thanawi responded:
“The feeling of resentment and anger
are involuntary, harmless and not
considered a sin. However, if you act
upon these feelings and start backbiting
the person or hurt him/her in any
way, then it becomes a sin. Therefore,
when these feelings arise, you should
ignore them and beseech Allah to remove
these evil thoughts from your
mind so that you do not act upon
them. At the same time, you should
remind yourself of your own shortcomings
and sins so that these feelings
are suppressed. You should think
that I deserve worse than what he said
about me. Ponder over the consequences
of the sins (in this world and
the Hereafter). Follow these steps and
then inform me after a week.”
Maulana Thanawi has not only
described a principle and practical
method in curbing these feelings but
also apprised us of the reality of this
condition.
A person may get several uninvited
evil thoughts in his/her mind
throughout the day, but Allah will not
hold him accountable for them, even
if they are of disbelief or polytheism.
However, these thoughts must be
involuntary and should have come
unwillingly; if so, they are not punishable
or sinful.
Sometimes, an individual’s actions
provoke feelings of resentment and
anger. For example, verbal or physical
abuse naturally arouses anger. These
feelings are natural, therefore, they
are not within our volition to control
and are not sinful.
There are certain auliya of Allah who
have crushed their nafs to the extent
that they do not feel resentment or
anger. People abuse them, but their
inner condition remains unchanged.
These auliya of Allah develop this
nature through vigorous spiritual
exercises (mujahada).
However, here, we are talking about
the general public. When they are
abused or provoked in any way, it
triggers spontaneous and naturally
repulsive feelings within them. These
feelings are neither sinful nor punishable
until one surrenders to them and
exceeds the limits.
For instance, if someone tells another
that he is dumb and he replies, “You
are dumb, and so is your father.”
In this response, he has reacted by
exceeding the limits. Had it been only
resentment, it would not be accounted
for as a sin. Even if he got even
(by calling him dumb), he would still
not be sinful. However, since he went
one step beyond (by calling his father
dumb), he would be held accountable
for that. Often, a person exceeds
his limits because he is angry over a
matter. Since this is done by choice
and something he can control, he will
be held accountable for it on the Day
of Judgment.
Suppose someone punches you and
you punch him back. Your blow must
not be harder than his, but since it is
difficult to ensure that, the auliya of
Allah do not take revenge when they
are abused. In fact, they find relief
in forgiving the abuser because had
they responded in kind, they fear they
may hit him back harder and be held
accountable for it.
The bottom line is that if you are angered
at someone’s provocation and
feel resentment, it is not sinful. But if
you exceed the limit in your response,
then it is punishable. Therefore, the
best course of action is to forgive and
not to seek revenge. This approach
would not only earn you reward but
also eliminates the risk of overcrossing
the boundaries.
While there is no accountability for
feeling indignation, you must not
18 January – February 2022 | AL-MADINAH