New Year’s Resolutions
(Top 10 Epic Fails)
By Alaina and Margie
1. Lose Weight – Hahahahahahahaha! I’m sure most of us have made this resolution at some point in our life, especially the older we
get. Our advice to you: Hahahahaha!
2. Quit Smoking – We are talking about the day after you have spent all night drinking. There is no way you are NOT going to have a cigarette
with that Bloody Mary.
3. Drink Less – What’s another word for Hahahahahaha?? Face it, we live on Tybee.
4. Save Money – Bitch please! We’ve just had Christmas and New Year’s!
5. Spend more time with Family – Didn’t I just leave that nightmare at the Christmas table???
6. Less Stress – Let me grab my cigarettes and a drink, and then review my credit card statements first…
7. Learn Something New – I don’t know about you, but my head is already crammed full of useless information and there’s no more
space right now.
8. Become a Better Person – You expect me to do this after quitting smoking, drinking, and spending money??
9. Get Organized – Why bother relearning something new when I know where everything is right now?
10. Travel to New Places – I can’t afford that! Refer to #4.
38 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | JAN 2019