Paige Ingram & Iris Dickerson, friends.
GIVING BACK con't. next column
GIVING BACK con't. next column
GIVING BACK con't from p. 2
GIVING BACK continued GIVING BACK continued
reclaim their lives with sobriety and a 12 step
program.”
House manager Iris Dickerson joins us
around the table as the world of substance
abuse unravels. Iris has been on staff for six
years; other workers cover the weekends and
evenings as 24 hour care is needed.
The initiation of care normally begins when
a treatment center contacts the Bethany House
about a lady in need. After an interview and
introductions are made, then recovery continues
with a safe place to learn how to become a
productive member of society through learning
basic life skills of cooking, cleaning, budgeting
time and money, etc. Chores at the house
remain a constant, as does attending a 12 Step
Program every evening. Along with achieving
the responsibilities found at Bethany, residents
either have to work, volunteer, or go to school
for 20 hours.
As the chore list rotates through life skills, the
women run the house; as many as eight live in
the Bethany at any given time. Days start early
when the ladies gather downstairs by 7:30AM
for breakfast, meditation and thanksgiving as
they have to share something for which they are
grateful. All with differing schedules, the ladies
go their separate ways to fulfill obligations.
Dinner time gathers the ladies once more to
the table by 5:30; four nights a week, one of the
ladies fixes dinner as part of the rotating chore
list.
Long before residents become involved
with the Bethany House, their lives become
intertwined within the complicated, destructive
world of substance abuse. No matter the drug
of choice, common similarities plague the users
seeking help. Paige remembers, “Within the
safety of the 12 step program, I heard people
tell my story, and it wasn’t necessarily what they
used or what they stole—it was hearing how they
felt. What I felt, every time that I ever picked up
Unforgettable stories abound such as the
lady who came in with heroin addiction, a
criminal record, and never thought that she
would be able to do anything. She’s now five
years sober, and in May, she will be a nurse.
Another resident who couldn’t even visit her
daughter without having supervision chose to
overcome and managed to pay her rent and the
supervision fees to see her child. Since recovery,
she now gets her daughter every other weekend.
She has a family and welcomed a son.
Along with the victories, Paige remembers
the tragedies. “We have lost several residents
in death as this disease is cunning, baffling,
and powerful. Just when you think someone
is going to make it as they’re doing so well one
wrong decision can change a life forever. Since
I’ve been working here we’ve lost 20 women in
18 years.”
With 30 years of service, the Bethany House
would love for locals to support the work. The
greatest need is always money, and their greatest
resource remains the community as churches
and locals donate clothes, food, and time.
Volunteers are always welcome. Partners such as
the United Way, ABC Board, and Sandhills Center
provide assistance; the Bethany House residents
also pay rent. For anything extra, the ladies have
to raise the funding. Paige encourages, “As long
as this house is doing exactly what it is intended
to do, then God will make sure it’s here.”
“The greatest hope is that this house will
stay open so another woman can learn to live,”
encourages Paige. Truly the Bethany House
saves lives! Paige sums it all up beautifully,
“When people are sick, it’s a diagnosis, not an
accusation! Some people think you can just find
God and go to church...well, if I’m feeling guilty
and shameful, like I can hide from Him, then I’m
not going to attend church. God uses whatever it
takes to reach us. We’re not bad people trying to
get better; we’re sick people trying to get well.”
To experience amazing grace in action, get to
know the Bethany House. Truly your life will be
forever changed when you support a work that
is changing lives. Determined from the start to
serve as “a safe haven where the ladies could
come and be safe and feel loved” remains the
saving grace of the Bethany House.☐
Paige Ingram with Iris Dickerson.
and used was shame and guilt in feeling like a
horrible, terrible person! I even had children at
the time! It took me a long time to admit that
I was an alcoholic which was easier to excuse
than crack. Sometimes jail will stop the habit;
sometimes losing children will stop it. It doesn’t
matter if you are lying on cashmere or asphalt
in your own puke; the view and the feeling are
the same. It doesn’t matter who you are or where
you live.”
Living the struggle Paige opens up about
her experience, “When I was younger I never
ever felt good enough. I stayed in my room and
withdrew from my family. I didn’t feel good
enough in school, either. At age 15, alcohol
became my solution because once I started
drinking, I became more popular. Alcohol
became my answer; I truly believe that if I hadn’t
have found alcohol, then I would have killed
myself. I had the disease before I picked up the
bottle. Soon enough I started trying different
things to find my drug of choice. Although I
always drank, crack became my drug of choice.
As things escalated, I began to steal to fund my
habit; I robbed two stores with a comb and went
to prison. You find yourself stuck between you
can’t stop, but you want to stop—you don’t know
what to do.”
Paige continues, “Soon after serving prison
time, I got a DUI, went to jail, got out, but I
couldn’t make my court date because I was
getting high. I intended to be there; but the
power was so much stronger than my going to
the courthouse. Authorities came and got me
because I was notorious! When the clerk of court
asked if I’d like to go to treatment or if I wanted
to keep doing this became the turning point.
From that time on, it took me from 1996 to 2003
to get sober as I was in and out of treatment,
trying to stop, wanting to stop. When people ask,
‘Why don’t you just stop; it’s not that easy.’”
Iris shares, “I was in my late 20s when I first
started smoking crack; the father of my children
introduced me. It was all about the boy! I started
doing thefts, and I got into the system and sold
to an undercover. I had the same charge twice,
and I went to prison twice. I got sober the first
time and stayed sober for two and a half years,
but I didn’t do the work. I didn’t do anything that
the 12 Step Program told me to do; I didn’t utilize
the available resources. For instance, I went late,
left early, and never got plugged in—I had a
sponsor in name only.”
Sharing many similarities, Iris and Paige met
in jail, went to prison together, and attended the
Bethany House recovery effort. Both ladies now
serve others in need. When asked how a girl gets
introduced to drugs and alcohol, both women
exclaim, “It’s always a boy! Peer pressure from a
boy, a lot of times, provides the opportunity. We
all want to be loved, and we will do whatever it
takes to feel accepted.”
Nearly 70 percent of the residents at Bethany
House succeed if they stay at least one day longer
than their required six months. However some
stay up to a year which increases their success.
Going through the program upon 3 different
occasions, Paige was finally able to overcome
the bondage of addiction. She tells, “The 12 step
program introduced me to my God who can
keep me sober and to a network of friends who
help me stay sober. It’s a miracle!”
For more info on the Bethany House:
Phone: (910)692-0779
E-mail: bethanyhouse@embarqmail.com
THE BETHANY HOUSE, INC
P.O. Box 2441
Southern Pines, NC 28388
More from Paige Ingram, see p. 32.
By L.S. Crain, S.Pines resident 1989-2017,
now lives in Taylors, SC, his birthplace.
p.30 The Pinehurst Gazette, Inc. No. 133
link