Tybee
Nicknames
It’s a small island we live on out here, and everybody knows
everybody. You can’t fart at Huc-A-Poos without Wind Rose catching
wind of it. It can get redundant here, and any gossip is good gossip.
However, even though we know everyone, there are a lot of us, and a
lot of repeat names. That’s when we get creative and throw in some
nicknames. Chances are, if you’re privileged enough to be in the
Breezy phone, it’s a nickname. Some of them are easy, some are
stupid, and some are of mysterious origin. They are a real part of our
everyday lives though.
The first name that always comes to mind is Mike. There are Mikes
everywhere. If I send a driver to a bar to pick up Mike, chances are
there are at least three Mikes there to choose from. The archangel is
well represented on Tybee. The three most common Mikes in my life
are Mikey, Mikemikemike, and Michael, even though they all three go
by Mike regularly. There’s plenty more though. Off the top of my head
I can think of Fuzzy Mike, Poos Mike, Red Mike, Black Mike, IGA Mike,
Jewish Mike, Gay Mike, Mike Gay, Darts Mike, Other Darts Mike, Big
Mikey, Baby Mike aka Mike’nIke, Karate Mike, Chu’s Mike, Mikaltodd,
Pizza Mike, and Crosby Mike.
Some are just lazy but stick. Shrimper Brian is a perfect example.
Some make a lot of sense for two people of the same name. Crazy
Bianca and S____ Bianca are two different people who’ve had those
nicknames for 10 years and I still don’t know which is which. Much
like the Biancas, some are just too easy. Naked Jimmy is Naked Jimmy
because he gets naked. Gay Jimmy is Gay Jimmy because he gets
gay. Smiley is Smiley because his last name is Miley, and he smiles
a lot. All the Bungers are Bungholes, and Becca is Bextra cause she
punches extra hard. Paxton is Precious because, well he’s precious.
Lady Joey is a lady named Joey. Then there’s Boner Bill, Chatty Cathy,
Longball Joey and Roger Dodger. This list is getting out of hand.
There are some nicknames that are purely for use behind your
back. For the unsavory types Ghetto Barbie, The Humping Robot and
Low Tide come to mind, as do Creepy Larry and Toothless Mark. There
are several other names out there, but for the sake of this not being
my last article, they are unprintable. If you don’t recognize any of
those, you’re probably one of them, and you can guess which one (or
ones) you are.
Jason’s name is not Winky, just so you know. I don’t even know
where that one came from. Call that dirty-stinking-good-for-nothing-
Cowboy lover by his real name, dammit.
Alas, there is me. I’ve been known by a few nomme de guerres
as far as I know of. Breezy Joey, Jesus Joey, and Broseph, to name
a few. I think Krystal Joey is the most appropriate at this point, But that’s
another tale...
30 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | AUG 2019
By Joey Goralczyk
SUSHI / BOWLS / BUBBLE TEA / SALADS
I N G R E D I E N T S
912-499-4178
SMOOTHIES / SANDWICHES / WRAPS / FLATBREADS
I N G R E D I E N T S
18 TYBRISA STREET | 912-472-4278
Dizzy Deans
1516 Butler Ave. Tybee Island
Beer, Wine, Fine Spirits,
Craft Beers, Cigars,
Cigarettes, Mixers & More
Mon-Thurs: 10am-10pm
Fri-Sat: 10am-11pm Sun: 12:30pm- 8pm
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