LOVE, NOT ACTUALLY
A Love Advice Column by a Boy and a Girl Who Should Not be Giving Love Advice. Ever.
The Question this month is:
My boyfriend and I just broke up. How soon do I have to politically correctly wait until I get back in the dating game and start dating his dad?
By, Keeping it in the Family
Girl’s Advice:
OMG!!! I love this conundrum! A number of questions come into play here and you left out a bunch of factoids. Who broke up with whom? Is the son an ass? Are
you an ass? Is the dad hot? How many other kids are involved? How old are you? How old is he? Does Dad have money?
Setting ALL OF THE ABOVE aside, here is what you should do. Totally get it on with Dad. You only live once and if the son was halfway good in the where-it-counts
department, then Dad should be too. Additionally, if Dad has the money, you marry him and get written into the will, a la Anna Nicole Smith style, and then shove
Junior’s face in it. Have zero shame. Get it girl! On a private side note, you may have to move out of state.
Boy’s Advice:
The short answer is NEVER! That’s just gross and on so many levels too. First off, what kind of girl wants to bang their ex’s dad? Second, what kind of morals does
one have to have to be that crude? Can’t you just leave well enough alone?
I mean, we had a relationship, it went well for a while. We had good times and bad, but for whatever reason, it’s over. Walk away from the relationship a smarter
person and don’t exacerbate the situation by banging my dad. Besides, how awkward would it be the next time I pick your mom up for a game of hide-the-salami
and we run into each other? What am I supposed to say? Hi Dad. Be careful, she likes to get kinky.
32 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | DEC 2019