so he wouldn’t have to go through channels to buy equipment – some of which ended up in
his house. He was lucky we didn’t fi le charges.
Firing people wasn’t so tough after that.
I was John’s boss until I left the company several years ago. He was a creative guy who
could always be counted on to do a good job. And we’re still friends. He had a staff who
liked and respected him. With guys like John, being the man isn’t so bad. But ditching the
man and being your own boss is always the best.
In the Blink of an Eye
clean and his are more
I could hear the panic in
often than not covered with
fi ngerprints. And when you
his voice. Maybe it was my
aren’t wearing your glasses
perverse nature that kept
and there are two together,
me from saying anything
I suppose it’s easy to pick
until he’d fi nished his story.
up the wrong pair. Although
“I drove over to Port
I’ve never done it.
Charlotte with the house
Mine do have a decidedly
plans,” my man began. “Met
feminine touch on the
with the building permit
upper part of the lens: a
people there, asked a lot of
silver wing-shaped lilt. I
questions and then started
wondered what the folks
back. Suddenly I realized I
in the building permit
couldn’t see well. The road
department thought when
ahead was distorted. I keep
they saw a manly looking
blinking, but my eyes didn’t
fellow walking in wearing
get any better. I’m calling
those glasses.
the Center for Sight. I need
My man is not the fi rst
to go in right away.”
in the family to snitch
“You’re fi ne,” I replied,
my spectacles. About 10
trying to stifl e a laugh.
years ago, I was visiting
“How can you say that?”
my mother in the memory
“After you left this
care unit where she was
morning, I noticed that
staying when I noticed she
your glasses were on the
was wearing my glasses. I
bathroom counter,” I said.
had several pair, so I hadn’t
“When I looked for mine,
missed them. I must have
they were missing. You can’t
left them on her nightstand
see because you’re wearing
a couple of days earlier.
my glasses.”
“I think you have on
I could no longer contain
my glasses, mom,” I said
myself. My guffaws echoed
sweetly.“Oh. What makes
through our house.
you say that?”
“Really?” my man
“Yours have a blue frame.
responded. His voice was
You picked them out last
now fi lled with obvious
year at the eye doctor. The
relief. He chuckled.
ones you’re wearing are
It was an innocent enough
burgundy.”
mistake. Our glasses are
I wondered how she
similar in appearance,
could see. My eyesight isn’t
although mine are usually
78 GASPARILLA MAGAZINE • March/April • 2021
the best so my lens, even
back then, were heavily
corrected and expensive.
It didn’t seem to bother
her. In fact, my 94-year-old
mom fought to retain those
titanium glasses.
In the end, she relented
– not happily – and I made
a mental note to pick out
some lighter frames for
her at our next visit to the
optometrist.
The attitude toward
glasses in my current
household is quite different.
My man has had the same
pair of glasses since we met
almost eight years ago. He
has an eye exam every year
and when they tell him his
old spectacles are still fi ne,
he says thanks and walks
out the door.
After my exam, even if
there is no change in my
vision, I head for the frames
department and pick out
two or three new ones.
Nothing says old person like
out-of-style eyeglasses.
In church last Sunday, I
realized I’d forgotten my
glasses.
“Can I borrow yours for
just a sec,” I said to my man.
His magnify enough to help
me see better in a pinch.
When I slipped them on,
I knew instantly they were
mine. He’d done it again.