However, submitting to these desires
by carrying out forbidden acts is a sin.
When one acts upon these desires in
a lawful manner then it is rewarding
and not a sin.
Reward for lawful glance
We learn from a hadith that when a
man goes home and looks at his wife
with a loving glance and she reciprocates
it with an affectionate glance,
Allah looks at both of them with
mercy and bestows upon them the
reward for their conduct. Hence, the
lawful use of the innate sexual desires
earns a reward. Therefore, having the
innate sexual desire is not a sin nor is
acting upon it in a lawful manner an
act of disobedience. What constitutes
a sin is acting upon these desires in an
unlawful manner.
We can also appreciate the fact that
refraining from the sin of ogling
women is within our control. It is not
involuntary in which we are absolutely
helpless to do anything about it. All
we have to do is to use our willpower
to overcome this habit. Initially, we
may encounter some difficulty, but
gradually it becomes easier and we
develop the habit of lowering our
gaze.
How do habits form and break
We must remember that habits form
gradually. To begin with, every act is
voluntary. If we do it once or twice,
it is easy to give it up. However, once
we start doing something repeatedly,
it soon develops into a habit and
feels as if it is impossible to give it up.
However, it is not difficult to realize
that this habit was a voluntary act in
the beginning. Only after repeating it
over and over again did it start to feel
like an involuntary act over which we
had no control. We should know that
the solution to breaking this habit is
to replace it by forming another habit,
which initially would be difficult to
do but then eventually would become
our ‘new’ habit.
Let’s take the example of cigarette
smoking. If someone smokes for
the first time, he may not like it and
may feel the unpleasant effects in his
body. It is very easy for him to give it
up at this time. However, if he continues
to smoke, it becomes a habit. In
reality, this is not essential to survival
and it is easy to give up. However, as it
has developed into a habit, it appears
as if it is a necessity of life. It is not
difficult to give it up; we only make it
difficult by choice.
The Arabs are fond of drinking qahwah
very much. When I was a young
student at Darul Uloom Nanakwara
studying Quduri (a book of fiqh), a
shaykh had come from Qatar. I went
to meet him along with a group
of students. The first thing that he
served us was qahwah. I had never
tasted it before. I assumed it would be
very sweet and tasty, but when I took
my first sip, I found it very bitter and
could not take it down. In fact, I got a
headache. I was not sure how to finish
the rest of the cup and wondered how
Arabs drank it so often. That was my
first experience. Later on, my frequent
interactions with Arabs over the
course of many years turned me into
18 May – June 2021 | AL-MADINAH