Bartender Chronicles By Alaina, Rick, Henry, Amanda & Lee at a Bar
The Top 14 No Nos
Since this is the month of the Bartender, my cohorts in crime and I decided to come up with a list of things that just piss us off. Not only as bartenders, but
as people. They are as follows in no particular order as #1 pisses me off just as much as #14:
1. If you need another drink, do none of the following: Snap your fingers, whistle, shake your ice or lift your glass high in the air and point to it with your index
finger. That makes your bartender want to break said digit in many tiny pieces.
2. Bachelorette /Bachelor Parties/Birthday Parties: Woohoo!! It’s a big you day!! We get it. However, don’t expect freebies from a random bar for you and
your entire squad! If we did that for everyone, well it defeats the purpose of earning money.
3. I know the owner! Wow!! So do I and they never mentioned you and I bet if I were to ask the owner about you, they would have no clue who you are. Just
don’t say it.
4. Use less ice. Never heard that one before. Does that mean you want me to pour you more alcohol? Gee golly whiz. How about I give you a smaller cup
and you still pay the same price for less?
5. I can’t taste the liquor. Well, dear, it is not my fault you are an alcoholic. When you say this to bartender, here is what they hear: I want you to give me an
extra shot for free. I don’t care that you are ripping off your boss and you may lose your job. You are nothing. Give me my free shot.
TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | AUG 2018 11
6. Can you make that drink the bartender down the street made? I don’t know what was in it, but it was pink.
7. Please do not point out another customer in need of something. When I ignore you, there is a reason for it. However, if I am dinking around on my phone
and someone is dying of dehydration, that’s another story. Be careful how you point this out. In fact, just don’t.
8. Price comparison/price complaining: Your bartender did not create the prices. If you found cheaper prices somewhere else, perhaps you should go back
from whence you came.
9. You want to eat the buffet in front of you that everyone else calls the fruit tray? Don’t you dare!! Keep your damn hands to yourself … or at least on your
side of the bar.
10. People that tell you they are in the industry. Yikes!!! Whenever I hear it, my heart drops because I know I’m gonna get screwed and I’m not going to like it.
11. What’s the cheapest thing you got? No. Just No.
12. The daytime/nighttime bartender allows me to do this. Oh? Well their shift starts in 5 hours so come back then.
13. Are you seriously carding me? Yep! I sure am! And you know what? You are going to let me see that little piece of plastic or you are going to get the
hell out!
14. Do not interrupt me while I am taking someone else’s order. If your hair is on fire, maybe. Anything else, definitely not!
Mind your manners and everyone is going to have a good time at the pub!