YOUR ADDRESS
Never say never. Like we never get hit by hurricanes here on
Tybee. For the third year in a row, here we are all eyes on The
Weather Channel, watching a giant hurricane. Florence is a big
nasty Cat 4 with her eyes on the east coast. I’m still hoping for a
fish storm and I’m praying for the safety of everyone in her path. I
promised my mom that if a storm was ever coming straight across
the Atlantic I would evacuate. We still have a couple days of not
knowing where and when.
Okay, let’s continue on the assumption that we are hurricane free
this year and our beautiful island is still inhabitable. When you are
calling for a Breezy, it is completely necessary to have the address
of your location so we know where you are. The name of your
house is not an address. I have been doing this job for six years
and I still have no clue where The Pier Walk Condo is. However, I
do know where #5 15th street is. I recently had a call and the lady
was like, “I’m not sure of my address but it’s near the Brass Rail.”
Shit kids, I’m on 14th Street and can see the Brass Rail from my
house. Technically I’m across from the Brass Rail. See why that’s
not an address? I can see the water tower from a lot of different
spots on the island, so telling me I’m across from the water tower
is no help to dispatch.
Back to the Pier Walk Condo, I showed up and the lady asked if
I had a hard time finding the place. I said, “No.” She said, “Your
dispatcher is a bitch!” I said, “First of all that is my wife, second
of all, across from the Brass Rail is not a bleeping address, and
third of all, dealing with idiots like yourself makes her job tough.”
I was as rude as I could be, hoping she would tell me never mind
on the ride. Her two friends got in the car and told her she should
probably shut up. I said, “Your friends seem intelligent.” She tried
to apologize and told me she lives on Wilmington Island, so I
asked her if she called for a ride from Wilmington Island, does the
driver just drive around endlessly or do you know your address? I
remember my address since I was five. My father made us write it
a hundred times so we knew it. Box 191 Carranza Rd., Tabernacle,
32 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | OCT 2018
By Ron Goralczyk
NJ 08088. That’s a lot of letters to cramp up a five year old’s hand,
but I knew my address.
Also, it is vital that we know how many people are in your group.
It would also be really helpful if I could ask how big a gal are you.
We recently sent a car for a group of four and the car was not big
enough. I have never had a group of four that couldn’t fit into the
Crown Vic. I once had a group of 11 girls, plus myself, in a Crown
Vic. I picked them up at The Crab Shack and took them to Tybee
Time. It was a busy night, so I was happy to stuff them in. Not the
most comfortable ride, but memorable. Anyhow, it is important for
us to know how many. Something else that would be helpful is not
standing in a very loud spot when calling. If you can’t hear us, we
can’t hear you. Find a nice quite spot and give us a call.
Keep in mind on really busy nights our delivery services take a
back seat to fares. I recently had a disgruntled tourist complaining
on the old Facebook about how unprofessional we were.
Truth is day shift took the order and did not relay it to second shift.
However, even if it had been relayed to us, we could not have
handled it. If saying we were unprofessional, I can only assume
they thought the company motto was extreme. In my defense, it
was day three of a long weekend.
One last thing. If you call a Breezy and a car or bus rolls up and it
has Breezy logos on it, that is a Breezy. You locals think I’m kidding,
but you would not believe how many times we call someone and
tell them your ride is here and they ask, “Is it the car that says
Breezy?”
So if you ever see me having a meltdown, know that we put up
with a lot of little things that compile and sometimes I blow my
top. I was having a recent meltdown and a dude was like, “Chill
out man, it’s a three mile island.” Let’s just say he walked away
quickly, not sure he was expecting the response he got.
Anyway, the stress of summer is behind us and I hope we all survive
the hurricane season. Tip your servers and your bartenders, clean
up after yourself and Go Breezy!