doing a fantastic job directing traffic. NOT! Why in the hell do you have
this end blocked and not the other end? Don’t you think that would
make more sense, instead of having the cluster f of traffic all having to
turn around?” Before she could answer me, I informed her that I had
the Grand Marshall in the car and the parade couldn’t start without
him. She said, “Oh, okay take him over there.” I got back in the car
and Captain Mike said, “Breezy, I thought we were going to jail.” I said,
“Captain, I may be going to jail, but you’re going to the parade.” I did
stop back by the officer and apologized for the disrespectful outburst
and explained that my horn did not work. I would have just hit my horn
so the backing car would have seen my car. She was cool about it.
Everyone enjoy the springtime. Be safe. Tip your servers, your
bartenders, and clean up after yourself. When you go Breezy, make
sure it’s a Breezy. TEETH TALES
Just like a bar, Breezy has a Lost and Found. I was recently cleaning
out the cars and I opened the trunk of our oldest car and thought,
this is a MacGyver treasure chest. There was everything you needed
to get out of any situation. We have a basket full of smart phones
that no one ever claimed, bras, beach towels, a small cooler, fishing
tackle, reading glasses, cheap sunglasses, an assortment of men’s and
women’s clothing, and a plethora of unmentionables. We even have an
insulin kit. If you have lost it and we find it, you will get it back.
So, we got a call and the man asked if we had found his teeth. Yes
you read that right. “Did you find a set of teeth?” “No, we haven’t seen
them but we will check the fleet.” Guess what? There was a mold of
someone’s teeth in the trunk of one of our cars. Not the teeth he was
looking for. He was looking for his dentures. WTF though, there were a
set of teeth in the car. I’m not sure how MacGyver would use them. Just
in case we need them, they are still in the trunk.
The dentures reminded me of one night that my neighbor tried to walk
home from the south end but he didn’t make it. I found him sleeping in
front of the Sand Castle Inn. You may say he was passed out, but his
teeth were lying next to him like it was his night stand. I’m sticking
with sleeping over passed out. Luckily for him, I had a passenger with
me so we were able to pick him and his teeth up, stuff him in the back
seat, return him home, put him in a chair on his porch and leave his
teeth on an end table. I didn’t know he had false teeth and he has never
heard this story.
March is my favorite time of the year. It’s all about Saint Patrick’s
Day. Since we added the party bus, we have had the honor of hauling
the last two Grand Marshalls to the Election Ceremonies. Last year I
had a group partying on the bus after the election and I heard one of
the rock star partiers say to the group, “Call me old fashioned, but I
don’t think Father Patrick should be drinking!” I completely lost my shit
laughing at that statement. I replied to him that a good Catholic does
not judge others. It is written in the Bible and he was drinking light
beer! Good times.
The year before that, Tybee had the honor of having the Clydesdales
on loan for a short parade. I had picked up Captain Mike to deliver
him to the parade. He was the Grand Marshall. The parade was to
begin near Hotel Tybee in the parking lot near the beach, but there
was a small problem. The police had blocked the road at the end of
14th St. instead of blocking it at 14th and Butler. Car after car was
being redirected so everyone was doing u-turns and using people’s
driveways to turn around.
I was trying to get around the police car when a car was backing
out of a driveway, headed right for my cab. I made an aggressive move
around the cop car and the police officer, as not to be hit by the car
backing out of the driveway. I stopped as soon as we were out of the
way of the traffic. The officer was yelling at me for the maneuver and I
jumped out of the car and yelled back. I said something like, “You are
30 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | MAR 2019
By Ron Goralczyk
Behind the Tape…
By Sgt. Richard Dascall
I hope everyone had a great winter, because if you’ve spent any amount of time
outside, you know that is over. The weather is getting warmer and I have seen
several people on the beach in bathing suits already. We’ve been busy for the past
several weeks at the police department. Between the Critz Run, getting ready for all
the upcoming summer events, and a series of car break-ins where all the vehicles
were left unlocked, we’ve had a lot going on.
To start off this summer season, I’m just going to focus on some of the fines that
a person could get for not following beach rules. First and foremost, glass is not
allowed anywhere on the beach in any form. Whether it’s a beer bottle or a pickle
jar, it’s a $367.00 citation. Secondly, with the exception of service animals, there
are no pets allowed on the beach. The Americans with Disabilities Act says the only
acceptable service animals are dogs and miniature horses. Also, the ADA does not
cover emotional support animals, so they’re also not allowed. And all service
animals need to be on a leash at all times. Having a pet on the beach is a $510.00
citation, and it’s strictly enforced because of the natural wildlife on our beach, such
as migratory birds and sea turtles. If you have an animal on the beach and it’s not
on a leash, you can receive two citations that total up to more that $700.00. The
last big issue that we encounter is littering. All trash needs to be put in a trash bag.
Keeping a pile by your chair is still considered littering under our city ordinance.
This fine is also $510.00, so make sure you bring a trash bag with you when you go
to the beach.
The last thing I’d like to do with this article is recognize four of our officers for
completing a difficult block of training. Lt. Randolph, Spo. Griesbach, Ofc. Wright,
and Ofc. Dickerson all completed Hostage Negotiation Level 1. This is a difficult
scenario-based class hosted by the FBI. These officers are in the process of
establishing continual training in this skill and creating a response team. Having
officers with these skills greatly benefits our department and community because it
helps to mitigate situations far beyond those involving hostages, such as people
with mental health issues or someone wanting to harm themselves. We are
fortunate that they were willing to undergo this training and hope to see their skills
put to work soon.
I hope everyone has a great summer and as always, if you need us just call.